Cultivating Romance in Marriage | Part 2
This episode of the Fortifying Young Family podcast is like a warm hug for your soul. We look at what it means to be a godly husband and the importance of being spiritually in tune with your wife. With practical advice on prayer, communication, and even romantic getaways, this episode is packed with goodies that’ll inspire you to take action. From enhancing your wife’s natural beauty to planning those little romantic getaways that will reignite the spark in your marriage.
Checkout our daily couples devotional podcast TIME FOR THREE: https://time-for-three.captivate.fm/listen
Website: https://familyfortress.org/
Transcript
Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.
Speaker A:It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.
Speaker A:Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.
Speaker A:And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.
Speaker B:Now let me give you a third thing here also.
Speaker B:Not only a man who smells good, and not only a man of good character and integrity and the things we mention with a wife, but let me also show you in the Bible here, as you look at the next verse in verse four, that you need to be a husband.
Speaker B:You need to be a man who leads his wife.
Speaker B:She says, draw me, we will run after thee.
Speaker B:Now, I think it's very, very important to understand that the Bible did make the husband as the head of his wife.
Speaker B:Now, again, that's not politically correct for today either.
Speaker B:But the Bible says that the husband is the head of the wife.
Speaker B:The wife is to submit unto the husband.
Speaker B:That's God's divine hierarchy in the Bible.
Speaker B:That doesn't mean that the husband is superior to the wife.
Speaker B:It doesn't mean that the wife is superior or inferior to the husband.
Speaker B:There has to be some organization.
Speaker B:Somebody has to be in charge in the home.
Speaker B:And God has put the man as the head of his wife.
Speaker B:And with headship comes tremendous responsibility.
Speaker B:And I'll talk more about that in a moment.
Speaker C:As Sam said, submission, ladies, has nothing to do with inferiority or with superiority.
Speaker C:It's voluntary allegiance or loyalty that requires you to adapt to the needs of another person.
Speaker C:And it's something that we.
Speaker C:Let me tell you, the reason that we submit as wives is not because our husbands earned that position.
Speaker C:God appointed them to be head of the home.
Speaker C:They did not earn it.
Speaker C:They did not merit it.
Speaker C:So we're not submitting because they have that right.
Speaker C:We're submitting because we trust God, because God said that's what we're to do.
Speaker C:And we trust God so much.
Speaker C:We know that God's way is right.
Speaker C:Because, you see, submission doesn't make sense when you write it down on paper.
Speaker C:Sometimes it just, it doesn't.
Speaker C:And there's some difficulties with submission.
Speaker C:Submission, when you submit, you're voluntarily making yourself vulnerable to the mistakes of another person.
Speaker C:And that can be so hard because, see, I think very differently than Sam does.
Speaker C:We already said men and women think differently.
Speaker C:And it can be really hard to submit sometimes because I think differently things.
Speaker C:But there's certain things that Sam does that really, really help me to submit to him.
Speaker C:Now.
Speaker C:He will.
Speaker C:He Always, always talks kindly to me.
Speaker C:He says nice things to me continually.
Speaker C:He always thanks me for cooking.
Speaker C:He tells me it tastes good.
Speaker C:Just all of the time, he helps me out.
Speaker C:Like if I'm working in the kitchen and he's already finished everything he's doing for the day, he'll come in there and he'll even help me do the dishes.
Speaker C:But he's always kind during the day.
Speaker C:I mean, we get to work together as husband and wife, which I know is unusual, but he'll come up behind me and he'll give me hugs, he'll give me kisses all day long.
Speaker C:He is kind to me, he is nice to me.
Speaker C:And, you know, that makes me want to do everything I can for him.
Speaker C:It makes submission so much easier.
Speaker C:But there's one thing that he does that just stirs my devotion so much, and that's when he prays with me.
Speaker C:And I'm not talking about a mechanical prayer.
Speaker C:God bless our family.
Speaker C:Thank you for the food.
Speaker C:I mean, when he gets with me and he bears his heart before God, when he admits things he's confused about, when he asks God for help, when he admits mistakes he's made in front of me, talking with the father and I hear him doing all that, and he prays with me about specific things that we're going through, I'd follow him anywhere.
Speaker C:I mean, because I know then that he is following God.
Speaker C:So ultimately, I am literally following God.
Speaker C:When I follow his lead and see, when he comes to me and he brings his Bible and he says, let me show you something that's so cool.
Speaker C:When he shows me that he's fascinated with the word of God, when he shows me something very personal that God has shown him, I know he's listening to God.
Speaker C:And it just makes it so much easier for me to submit as a wife.
Speaker C:So there are things that a husband can do to make submission make a lot more sense.
Speaker B:And guys, I think it's so important for us to understand.
Speaker B:You know, most guys, when they think about headship, they're thinking about provision for their family physically.
Speaker B:That is, I provide shelter, I provide food, and I provide all protection and all these kind of things.
Speaker B:Certainly we are, and we are to provide these things.
Speaker B:But one thing that most men and most husbands, even in the church today don't think about is there's to be spiritual headship.
Speaker B:That is, we are to lead our wives spiritually.
Speaker B:The Bible says if a wife would want to know something about the word of God, she ought to be able to come home and Ask who she ought to be able to come home and ask her husband.
Speaker B:And what that means is a husband needs to know the Word of God, needs to study the Word of God, needs to meditate in the Word of God.
Speaker B:A husband needs to share the Word of God with his wife.
Speaker B:It says in Ephesians 5:25, husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.
Speaker B:Then in verse 26, it says that he might sanctify her and cleanse her or purify her through the washing of the water by the Word.
Speaker B:So I'm continually to bathe my wife in the Word of God, to share the Word of God with her, and I'm to continually pray with her.
Speaker B:Now, Debbie mentioned prayer a while ago, and that's something I used to have a hard time really doing with my wife.
Speaker B:I don't know why as much at that time, I didn't why I'd have a hard time doing this, because I would think, you know, I can pray by myself, get by myself in my prayer closet and pray.
Speaker B:But when it came to praying with Debbie, it seemed like it was just very, very hard to do.
Speaker B:And I began to realize I had a lot of pride.
Speaker B:And as a man, I wanted my wife to think, well, I've got all the answers.
Speaker B:You know, I'm macho.
Speaker B:That's the way men want their wives to think about them, that they've got the answers, they're macho, and I don't need anybody else's help.
Speaker B:And I began to realize this was a pride issue, and it was also a spiritual warfare issue, too, that Satan does not want us to pray with our wives.
Speaker B:There's tremendous power when a husband and wife who are one come together and agree in prayer.
Speaker B:It's tremendous power in that.
Speaker B:And I would say, if you got nothing else out of what I'm sharing with you here tonight.
Speaker B:But you would start, guys, if you would start praying with your wife every day and spend time with her in prayer, it would be worth me coming here tonight.
Speaker B:I think it would absolutely revolutionize marriage relationships.
Speaker B:I believe with all my heart today, if we want to see revival in our churches, if we want to see America turn back to God, even as I emphasized this morning through the fear of God.
Speaker B:I think it really starts with us men being what God has called us to be, being men of the word, being men of prayer, being men who will lead and be the spiritual priest of our homes and certainly of our families.
Speaker B:And they will say.
Speaker B:What I could even say is, I'VE never seen that happen before.
Speaker B:I never.
Speaker B:My dad and mom didn't have devotions together.
Speaker B:I never saw my dad read the Bible with my mother.
Speaker B:I never saw my dad pray with my mother.
Speaker B:I wish I could say that I saw that in my family, but I never saw that either.
Speaker B:I never had that modeled.
Speaker B:I never had that example before me.
Speaker B:And so I know years ago, when God began to speak to my heart about this, I thought to myself, well, God, I don't really know how to do this, but I just start taking a psalm, and I'd read a psalm to Debbie.
Speaker B:And then I just.
Speaker B:I thought, well, I'll.
Speaker B:If nothing else, I'll just read to the Word of God.
Speaker B:And God would, you know, just this Holy Spirit would begin to give me something that I wasn't even aware of when I started reading that psalm to share with her.
Speaker B:And it was exciting.
Speaker B:And then there's devotional books like this, a devotion for every day, a passage of scripture you can read something, a commentary about that that will help enhance your marriage relationship, and something that you can pray together as a husband and wife about to you.
Speaker B:Also, Debbie and I have written a couples devotional book.
Speaker B:Please don't do something that a lot of guys do after church in a lot of churches that I'm in, because I have a lot of guys come to me sometimes, and they'll come back to the resource table.
Speaker B:Who do you think buys most of the books at a resource table?
Speaker B:The women do.
Speaker B:And I have guys typically come back and they look at me and they'll say something like this, well, preacher, I just don't like to.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:I don't like to read.
Speaker B:And you know what I tell most guys when they tell me that now?
Speaker B:I look at them and I say, listen, what you need to do is grow up.
Speaker B:You need to grow up.
Speaker B:You need to get over this childish thing of saying, I don't like to read.
Speaker B:You need to pull up your pants, be a man and grow up.
Speaker B:I mean, we don't like to hear that, but I'm just saying readers are leaders, and there's a lot to that.
Speaker B:We're in a spiritual war for our faith.
Speaker B:We're in a spiritual war for our families.
Speaker B:We need to equip ourselves every way we can to be the best husbands we can be for the glory of God, to be the best grandfather we can be, to be the best dad I can be.
Speaker B:I need to read the Bible, the book.
Speaker B:But I also need to read other books that will help me be all I can be for the glory of God.
Speaker B:So, guys, listen to me.
Speaker B:I know some of you don't like to read as much, but I want to really encourage you.
Speaker B:Start getting into some of these books that will be really helpful to you.
Speaker B:And not only that, it will help you and equip you to help a lot of other men around here in this area that really need a lot of help that I'll never come in contact with, your pastor will never come in contact with, and God will bring down your path and that you can really help them.
Speaker B:So I really want to encourage you in these areas to do that.
Speaker B:Now, not only does God say that we're to be a man who, who lovingly leads his wife and is devoted to her, but we need to do something else too.
Speaker B:And that is another way to cultivate romance is to be a man who enhances his wife's natural created beauty.
Speaker B:Let me say that again.
Speaker B:Be a man who enhances his wife's natural created beauty.
Speaker B:Now, there are several ways I want to mention this to you from the Song of Solomon.
Speaker B:Look with me, if you would, at verse nine.
Speaker B:Now she's feeling very, very insecure.
Speaker B:If you look at verse five, she says about herself, I am black but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon.
Speaker B:Hey, she was a country girl and she was marrying the king.
Speaker B:She felt very, very insecure about herself.
Speaker B:But look at what Solomon says in verse nine to her.
Speaker B:He says, I've compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots.
Speaker B:You know what he's saying?
Speaker B:He's saying, listen, I want to tell you, you're the mare of all mares.
Speaker B:There's no other mare quite like you.
Speaker B:I mean, you know, Solomon had the most beautiful horses that were on the earth.
Speaker B:He had thousands of horses.
Speaker B:And he is saying to her, listen, compared to all the other mares, you are a one in a million wife.
Speaker B:You are beautiful, you are gorgeous.
Speaker B:Now, the first way he really enhances her natural, creative beauty is through praising her.
Speaker B:That's what we see in verse 9.
Speaker B:He is giving praise to her.
Speaker B:He is telling her how gorgeous, how beautiful that she is.
Speaker B:In fact, it's interesting.
Speaker B:He says, company, I've compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses.
Speaker B:Then he says, in Pharaoh's chariots.
Speaker B:Now, in a chariot normally pulled by two horses, if you had two horses, pulling a chariot, normally would be two stallions, ok?
Speaker B:Because if you hooked a stallion beside a mare, what would happen?
Speaker B:There'd be a lot of problems.
Speaker B:They wouldn't be thinking about pulling the chariot.
Speaker B:They'd be thinking about what he would be thinking about her.
Speaker B:What he's saying is, you're so beautiful, you're so gorgeous.
Speaker B:It's like hooking up a mare next to me.
Speaker B:And you're just so gorgeous.
Speaker B:And that's what he's saying there here in these verses.
Speaker B:So he praises her, he gives her praise.
Speaker B:Look at another place.
Speaker B:And we'll just look at a few other verses.
Speaker B:Look at chapter seven.
Speaker B:Look at chapter seven and verse one.
Speaker B:And in chapter seven and verse one, this is a very intimate scene in their bridal chamber.
Speaker B:They are married.
Speaker B:And he is talking to her and praising her natural created beauty.
Speaker B:That is, praising how beautiful she is.
Speaker B:And he starts at verse one.
Speaker B:He is going to talk about ten aspects of his wife's natural created beauty.
Speaker B:The first five are from the neck down.
Speaker B:And the last five are from the neck up.
Speaker B:He first talks about her figure, then he talks about her face.
Speaker B:Now, I am just going to read this right out of the word of God.
Speaker B:How beautiful are thy feet.
Speaker B:Starts with her feet with shoes.
Speaker B:O princess daughter.
Speaker B:The joints of thy thighs are like the jewels of the work of the hands of a cunning workman.
Speaker B:Then he moves up to her navel.
Speaker B:She says, thy navel is like a round goblet which warneth not liquor.
Speaker B:Thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies.
Speaker B:Thy two breasts are like two young rose that are twins.
Speaker B:Thy neck is as a tower of ivory.
Speaker B:Thine eyes like the fishbowls in the heshbon by the gates of Bathrabban.
Speaker B:Thy nose is as a tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.
Speaker B:Now, guys, listen.
Speaker B:Your wife probably gonna get turned over if you tell her she's got a nose overlooking Jamestown.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:But this was very beautiful symbolic language in his day and time.
Speaker B:She probably wouldn't get turned on if you told her she got a navel like a round goblet either.
Speaker B:But again, this was very beautiful symbolic language.
Speaker B:And he's praising her natural creation.
Speaker B:He's telling her how beautiful she is.
Speaker B:Then he goes to.
Speaker B:In verse five, he goes to her head and he says, thy head upon thee is like caramel.
Speaker B:The hair of thine head, he said, like purple.
Speaker B:Then look at the end of verse five, he says, the king is held galleries.
Speaker B:He's saying to his wife, listen, honey, you're so gorgeous, you're so beautiful that you enslave me.
Speaker B:The king is held in the galleries.
Speaker B:I told you, Solomon is a romantic dude.
Speaker B:He knows how to pour it on.
Speaker B:He knows how to talk very, very lovingly, very, very tender.
Speaker B:In verse six, he says, how fair and how pleasant art thou, O love for delights.
Speaker B:And so it's very, very important to understand that.
Speaker B:Listen, guys, your wife needs to hear this kind of talk.
Speaker B:She needs to hear that she's beautiful.
Speaker B:She needs to hear that she's gorgeous to you.
Speaker B:Now, listen, guys, most women are very sensitive about how they look.
Speaker B:Most of them don't think about how beautiful they are.
Speaker B:They usually think about how flawed they are.
Speaker B:And they need to hear from you continually, over and over again.
Speaker B:You need to convince her that she is a beauty queen to you.
Speaker B:After all, you married.
Speaker B:You saw something in her that attracted you.
Speaker B:You married her.
Speaker B:She's beautiful to you.
Speaker B:Listen, your wife.
Speaker B:Listen to me, guys.
Speaker B:Your wife ought to be your standard of beauty.
Speaker B:Let me say that again.
Speaker B:Your wife ought to be your standard of beauty.
Speaker B:Not some other woman, not some woman on television, but your wife that God has given to you as a gift ought to be your standard of beauty.
Speaker B:And you need to continually convince her that she is a beauty queen to you.
Speaker B:Let me give you a couple of examples of this just for fun tonight.
Speaker B:Looking at some passages in Scripture.
Speaker B:Look at chapter two.
Speaker B:Look with me at verse one and two.
Speaker B:Now in verse one and two in chapter two, the Shulamite bride is speaking here.
Speaker B:And she is feeling again very insecure about herself.
Speaker B:So this is a bride speaking.
Speaker B:She says, I am the rose of Sharon and the lily of the valleys.
Speaker B:Now again, she is feeling very, very insecure.
Speaker B:The rose of Sharon and the lily of the valley was a very common meadow flower during that day and time.
Speaker B:But Solomon responds in verse two, he says, as a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
Speaker B:He says, listen, you're like a lily among a bunch of thorns.
Speaker B:All these other flowers ain't got nothing on you.
Speaker B:I mean, she was feeling insecure.
Speaker B:Probably in the palace, seeing all these other women and everything else.
Speaker B:He said, listen, they're just like a bunch of thorns compared to you.
Speaker B:Baby, you've got it.
Speaker B:You're gorgeous.
Speaker B:I mean, again, he knows how to talk to her.
Speaker B:Look at chapter four.
Speaker B:Look at verse one and two.
Speaker B:He says, behold, they are fair.
Speaker B:And that word, fair means beautiful or gorgeous love.
Speaker B:Behold, thou art fair.
Speaker B:Thou hast dove's eyes, which is a picture of her being pure, her being a virgin.
Speaker B:Thou hast doves eyes within thy locks.
Speaker B:Thy hair is as a flock of goats.
Speaker B:That appear from Mount Gilead.
Speaker B:Now, you might say, well, Brother Wood, that doesn't sound too nice.
Speaker B:Saying, she's got hair like a bunch of goats, you know.
Speaker B:But these goats on Mount Gilead were very, very black goats.
Speaker B:They had long, black, streaming hair.
Speaker B:They were known for their beauty and the sun shining on their black hair that glistened in the sunlight.
Speaker B:And he's telling her, you've got this beautiful, long, glowing black hair.
Speaker B:In verse two, he says, thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even showing which come up from the washing whereof every one bear twins and none is barren among them.
Speaker B:He said, listen, you got a beautiful set of teeth, too.
Speaker B:I mean, they're all even, all the way across.
Speaker B:None of them are missing.
Speaker B:They glisten, you know.
Speaker B:He says, listen, you've got pretty hair.
Speaker B:And you've got a pretty set of teeth, too.
Speaker B:Again, he's a romantic dude.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Look at chapter six, and look at verse five.
Speaker B:He says, turn away thine eyes from me.
Speaker B:Don't look at me, I can't stand it, is what he's saying.
Speaker B:For they have overcome me.
Speaker B:Thy hair is like a flock of goats that appear from Mount Gilead.
Speaker B:He really likes her hair.
Speaker B:He says, listen, don't look at me with those big eyes.
Speaker B:I just can't quite take that.
Speaker B:Turn them away from me.
Speaker B:You're just so beautiful.
Speaker B:Now, guys, you need to understand something.
Speaker B:A woman.
Speaker B:Now, listen to me.
Speaker B:Hope you'll get this down.
Speaker B:A woman can win a man without a word.
Speaker B:But a man wins a woman with his words.
Speaker B:Let me say that again.
Speaker B:A woman can win a man without a word.
Speaker B:That is, a man is turned on differently than the way a woman is turned on.
Speaker B:A man is turned on the way God made him is turned on more visually, but a woman is turned on more emotionally.
Speaker B:So a woman is one with the word where a man is one without a word.
Speaker B:I'm kind of reminded.
Speaker B:I sit in a lot of airports a lot of times because we're traveling so much.
Speaker B:And it never fails.
Speaker B:See this couple coming down through the airport, and it'll be this ugly guy, I mean, holding hands with this gorgeous woman.
Speaker B:I mean, this guy's so ugly, looks like he fell through an ugly tree to hit every branch.
Speaker B:I mean, he's ugly.
Speaker B:I mean.
Speaker B:And he's walking with this gorgeous lady.
Speaker B:And I think to myself, how in the world did this ugly guy get this beautiful woman?
Speaker B:And I'm reminded of what I'm sharing with you tonight.
Speaker B:He didn't get her with his looks.
Speaker B:He got her with his words.
Speaker B:Okay, Somebody told me, I think he probably got her worth his pocketbook.
Speaker B:I don't know, maybe that too.
Speaker B:But, you know, he got her.
Speaker B:A man wins a woman with his.
Speaker B:With his words.
Speaker B:I remember years ago when I was living over in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I was home on a Saturday, which was kind of rare, and my boys were watching something on television.
Speaker B:I was sitting in there with them, and a commercial came on the television.
Speaker B:And Hulk Hogan came on this commercial, you know, just rippling with his muscles and everything else.
Speaker B:And I was sitting there with my boys watching this commercial, and I began to compare his body with mine.
Speaker B:As you can see, there's a tremendous resemblance.
Speaker B:And Debbie walked in about the same time, and she looked down at the television, and I thought, oh, my soul, she's going to compare his body with mine.
Speaker B:Then she said two of the most beautiful words I've ever heard.
Speaker B:She said, oh, yuck.
Speaker B:I said, praise God, man.
Speaker B:I don't have to look that way.
Speaker B:And I was so thankful.
Speaker B:And I was reminded of what I'm sharing with you tonight.
Speaker B:And it's very, very important certainly, that we understand that.
Speaker B:Now, listen, guys, you need to speak lovingly and romantically over and over again to your wife.
Speaker B:He spoke to her in the language of love terms and tones of endurement.
Speaker B:Now, what will turn her off is for you not to speak to her.
Speaker B:Let me say that again.
Speaker B:What will turn her off is for you not to communicate with her.
Speaker B:Have you ever given your wife something called the silent treatment before?
Speaker B:Debbie and I, years ago, used to have some little spat or something, some little misunderstanding.
Speaker B:And I'd give Debbie something called the silent treatment.
Speaker B:And if it was a minor offense, I'd give her the silent treatment for a few hours.
Speaker B:If it was a major offense, I might give her the silent treatment several days.
Speaker B:I mean, I can remember walking around the house looking for her, so when I found her, I could ignore her.
Speaker B:Isn't that bad?
Speaker B:Have you ever done that before?
Speaker B:Don't look like a bunch of angels.
Speaker B:You've done the same thing before, you know, and, you know, I can remember I laid in a bit at night, and it was like, you know, I think I like to hug my wife and cuddle up with her.
Speaker B:I think, can't do it.
Speaker B:Silent treatment zone.
Speaker B:It's kind of like, you don't touch my toes, I won't touch yours.
Speaker B:And it's over some little silly nothing, usually, you know, and you have to be careful you don't Let these things crop into your marriage relationship.
Speaker B:They will certainly not cultivate romance.
Speaker B:They will hinder the romantic relationship.
Speaker C:As Sam went over all those verses, there's a thing that ladies need to pay attention to, too.
Speaker C:Men are stimulated by sight.
Speaker C:God proves it in his word.
Speaker C:That's one thing that does.
Speaker C:And we have to be really careful, careful as ladies that we be the best sight that we can be for our husbands.
Speaker C:I have a friend, and she's a widow.
Speaker C:And a lot of times she'll tell me, have you ever noticed that when women get married, a lot of times, once they get married, they just let themselves go?
Speaker C:And they quit fixing their hair, they quit wearing makeup.
Speaker C:They only wear sloppy, comfortable clothes.
Speaker C:And here their husbands are, they're going out every day into public.
Speaker C:They're working with dignified ladies that are dressed really nice, smell good, and then they come home and their wife's all frumpy.
Speaker C:And see, that is not romantic.
Speaker C:So we have to be really cautious that we do everything that we can so that we'll look nice.
Speaker C:That doesn't mean you have to always dress like you're going to church every day.
Speaker C:But what it means is you need to look good for your husband.
Speaker C:And we've had another complaint, some.
Speaker C:And I'll just mention this when we do marriage conferences all the time.
Speaker C:And one complaint is, once women get married, they quit shaving their legs, and it's really uncomfortable for men.
Speaker C:So I want to warn you, when you get married, don't let yourself go.
Speaker C:Keep doing the things that you did before you got married so that you can stay married.
Speaker B:In Proverbs, chapter 12 and verse 4, if you want to just jot some of these references down, look at them later.
Speaker B:It says, a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.
Speaker B:That is, a godly wife is like placing a crown on the head of her husband.
Speaker B:But at the end of that verse, it says, but she that maketh ashamed his rottenness to his bones.
Speaker B:That's quite a verse.
Speaker B:It says, listen, a godly wife, a virtuous woman is like placing a crown on her husband's head.
Speaker B:But a wife who makes her husband ashamed is like rottenness in his bones.
Speaker B:Ladies, listen, if you want your to crown your husband king, you need to be a godly, virtuous wife.
Speaker B:You need to make sure that he's not ashamed of you, that you're not shameful of how you look.
Speaker B:That is, look the best you can.
Speaker B:That's not saying you got to look like some movie, some actress on tv but be as beautiful as you can for him.
Speaker B:Don't let him make him ashamed of an unkempt house.
Speaker B:Don't make him ashamed of a loose tongue or he's got a wife that's a gossiper.
Speaker B:Don't make him ashamed of your lack of wisdom, a lack of discretion.
Speaker B:Don't make him ashamed of how you handle the checkbook.
Speaker B:Don't make him ashamed to introduce you in public.
Speaker B:I see this happen a lot of times, a lot of men.
Speaker B:It really gets me sometimes, especially marriage conferences.
Speaker B:And I'll see husbands with wives, and they don't even introduce their wife.
Speaker B:I want to tell you, one of the most exciting things I can do, one of the proudest things I can do when I meet somebody, is to introduce my wife.
Speaker B:I am so proud that Debbie is my wife.
Speaker B:God has given me a very virtuous wife, a godly wife, and I'm so excited that God has given her to me.
Speaker B:I was preaching a message in Elizabethton, Tennessee.
Speaker B:It's been, I don't know, five or six years ago now.
Speaker B:And I was mentioning this verse, and after the service, I had a lady come up to me that was almost 80 years old.
Speaker B:I mean, and she said, preacher, she said, when you talk about a wife making her husband ashamed, God really spoke to my heart.
Speaker B:This lady who's about 80 years old.
Speaker B:And she said, when I was about 40 years old, she said my husband left me.
Speaker B:She said, I didn't really understand what happened.
Speaker B:He just left me.
Speaker B:For the last 40 years, I just really haven't understood anything she said.
Speaker B:And it really got me, because she said, tonight, God showed me why.
Speaker B:She said, God showed me some things in my life where I was not a virtuous woman, where I made my husband ashamed of me.
Speaker B:She said, God showed me that tonight.
Speaker B:And I dealt with that tonight.
Speaker B:I thought, wow, Here's a lady 80 years old talking about how God had showed her something that happened 40 years ago in her life.
Speaker B:Ladies, you need to meet a wife who makes her husband proud.
Speaker B:I think that's so, so important.
Speaker B:You need to enhance your wife's natural beauty through giving.
Speaker B:Now, ladies, you're going to like this.
Speaker B:Through giving your wife gifts, all the ladies said, amen.
Speaker B:Few of you like that.
Speaker B:Okay, look back to chapter one.
Speaker B:Look with me at verse 10.
Speaker B:And again, I'm just showing you.
Speaker B:Out of the word of God, he says, thy cheeks are comely.
Speaker B:With rows of what, lady?
Speaker B:What does it say?
Speaker B:With rows of what?
Speaker B:Verse 10.
Speaker B:Jewels thy neck, with chains of gold thou the Guys are saying, shut up, preacher.
Speaker B:We will make the borders of gold with studs of silver.
Speaker B:What he's saying is, listen, I'm not going to only enhance your natural creedic beauty by giving you praise and telling you how beautiful you are, he says, but also I'm going to deck you out with some jewelry.
Speaker B:I'm going to put some things on you that are going to make you very, very beautiful and help that beauty just to show you that you're a beauty queen to me.
Speaker B:And so he gives her gifts, and I'm sure most ladies here like gifts, gifts.
Speaker B:And I know my wife does.
Speaker B:And this is one of the things that he does.
Speaker B:If you want to read about this, I'm not going to take time to go to it tonight.
Speaker B:But In Ezekiel, chapter 16, God talks about his wife, the Israelites, and he talks about how he decked them and how he beautified them and how he made them.
Speaker B:He had borders of silver and he had fine linen that he decked them with because they were espoused to him as his wife.
Speaker B:And I think this is a very biblical thing to do.
Speaker B:And we see this throughout the Word of God, and it's certainly something worth mentioning.
Speaker B:Let me mention another thing here that's very practical that we see in the Song of Solomon that cultivates romance, and that is be a husband, be a man who takes romantic getaways with his wife also.
Speaker B:Now, Solomon made sure that he and his wife would regularly get away together.
Speaker B:Let me show you several examples of this in the Song of Solomon.
Speaker B:Look at chapter two.
Speaker B:Look with me at verse ten.
Speaker B:He says, my beloved spake and said unto me, rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
Speaker B:For lo, the winter is past and the rain is over and gone.
Speaker B:The flowers appear on the earth.
Speaker B:The time of singing of birds is come.
Speaker B:The voice of the turtle is heard in the land the fig tree putteth forth her green figs and the vines with tender grapes give a good smell.
Speaker B:Arise, my love, my fair one and come away he says, with me he says, listen, it's time to have a springtime honeymoon the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming let's go out and have a spring, springtime fling let's have a springtime honeymoon look at chapter four and look with me at verse seven and eight.
Speaker B:Thou art fair again.
Speaker B:He just continually tells her, she's beautiful.
Speaker B:Thou art fair, my love There is no spot in thee Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse.
Speaker B:Come with me from Lebanon.
Speaker B:Look from the top of amana from the top of Shunnar and Hermon, from the lions dens and from the mountains of the lepers.
Speaker B:He said, listen, I know we had a little springtime getaway, but now let's have a little me mountain getaway.
Speaker B:Let's renew our love up in the mountains.
Speaker B:Then if you go over to chapter 7 and look at verse 11 and in chapter 7 and verse 11 now she's speaking to him and she says, come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field.
Speaker B:Let us lodge in the villages, let us get up early to the vineyards.
Speaker B:Let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grapes appear and the pomegranates bud forth.
Speaker B:There will I give thee my loves.
Speaker B:She says, I know we had this springtime honeymoon.
Speaker B:I know we went up in the mountains, renewed their love there.
Speaker B:But let's go to the country, a secluded little village in the countryside, and let's renew our love there.
Speaker B:Now, Solomon had a lot of honeymoons.
Speaker B:Now you say, well, Solomon had a lot of money.
Speaker B:Well, he did.
Speaker B:He was a very wealthy man.
Speaker B:He was very, very rich.
Speaker B:But you know what?
Speaker B:You don't have to have a lot of money to have some little romantic getaways.
Speaker B:It could be a picnic in the park.
Speaker B:It could be going in some beautiful places around here to go and take time for half a day, pack a picnic and go somewhere and set out on a bluff line somewhere and spend the afternoon together.
Speaker B:It could be take time to take a night and drive to Nashville, go out to a nice supper, spend the night in a motel.
Speaker B:It doesn't have to be super expensive, even a super long time.
Speaker B:But we need these times fairly often in a marriage relationship where we can just get away together as a husband and wife and we can renew our love with each other, these romantic getaways.
Speaker B:So it's very, very important that we understand that.
Speaker B:You want to mention just a word of brief word about that.
Speaker C:With all the verses that Sam has been going through, we don't really have time, like we'd like to, to really dig into the Song of Solomon.
Speaker C:But if you can go back and read it yourself, you'll note, ladies, that in the Song of Solomon, she was very, very responsive, always to his advances, whether he was complimenting her, whether he was stroking her, whatever.
Speaker C:And she was very, very responsive.
Speaker A:Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast.
Speaker A:And if you feel encouraged by today's teaching, give us a follow so we can invite you back and share us on your socials so more marriages and families can be strengthened and fortified through the truths of God's word.
Speaker A:Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's.
