Don't Let Anger Win: A Biblical Take on Managing Emotions | Part 2
In this episode, we uncover how to keep the enemy from gaining a foothold when emotions run high. You’ll learn three distinct ways anger shows itself and four powerful, biblical steps to overcome sinful anger. Filled with practical wisdom and timely truth, this message will equip you to direct anger toward what is good—and silence what is destructive—before the sun sets.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.
Speaker A:It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.
Speaker A:Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.
Speaker A:And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.
Speaker B:Be angry and sin not.
Speaker B:Now look back with me at verse 31 in Ephesians 4.
Speaker B:And in verse 31, God shows us that there are three types of sinful anger.
Speaker B:Three types of anger that's manifested in different ways.
Speaker B:So look at it just briefly with me here tonight.
Speaker B:Look at verse 31, very familiar verse.
Speaker B:Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor.
Speaker B:That word clamor means slander and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:And so we see here that there are three types of manifestations of sinful anger.
Speaker B:The first one in that verse is what?
Speaker B:Bitterness.
Speaker B:Bitterness.
Speaker B:Let all bitterness later in that verse says, be put away from you.
Speaker B:You know, you can have righteous anger that settles into bitter anger when you begin to hate the person or when you stop attacking the problem in evil and start attacking the person.
Speaker B:Bitterness makes you become a very vindictive type of person.
Speaker B:This is exactly an example I gave you a while ago.
Speaker B:This is exactly what happened to King Saul, is it not?
Speaker B:Because of his jealousy, he was moved to bitterness in his heart and his bitterness moved to hatred that moved to wanting to literally kill King David.
Speaker B:His heart was bitter towards David.
Speaker B:And listen, if you don't deal with this bitterness, it'll give place to the Devil to destroy you, to enslave you, and to do his will and to do his bidding.
Speaker B:You're giving place to the Devil.
Speaker B:When you allow this anger to become sinful anger that turns into bitterness in your life.
Speaker B:I preached a message several years ago here called Satan's trap of offense.
Speaker B:In Luke 17, it talks about the incredible trap that of offense that if we do not deal with being offended with someone else can lead us to be enslaved in the walls that we enslave ourselves of bitterness.
Speaker B:We take ourselves prisoner within these walls and we cannot reach outside of these walls that we put around ourselves.
Speaker B:No one can reach in.
Speaker B:We are a prisoner within the walls of hurt that has happened to us.
Speaker B:We get bitter in our heart.
Speaker B:We become offended at that other person, and because of that, it gives place to the Devil where that we start doing his bidding and his will.
Speaker B:In that message, I talk about the effects of that and how that happens.
Speaker B:It's very interesting.
Speaker B:A few weeks ago, we put up a ministry app.
Speaker B:And on this app, I've started to upload different messages and stuff on our ministry app.
Speaker B:I'm doing a little advertising here tonight, too.
Speaker B:And in this app, one of the messages that I uploaded to was Satan's deadly trap of offense.
Speaker B:You know, the message that's been listened to the most on my app since I put it up is that message.
Speaker B:You know why?
Speaker B:Because Debbie would tell you, she would agree with you about all of the counseling we do has something in some way or another, something to do with bitterness and offense.
Speaker B:So many people are so bitter, so many people are so offended at so many other people that they've never gotten that right.
Speaker B:And it's very, very interesting when I look at that.
Speaker B:I told Debbie the other day, I said, man, can you believe how many people listen to this message?
Speaker B:You know why?
Speaker B:Because so many people are dealing with this problem.
Speaker B:Now, the second type of sinful anger we see in verse 31 is blowing up.
Speaker B:I'll just classify it that way because we can all relate to that.
Speaker B:It's blowing up.
Speaker B:Notice the words in that verse.
Speaker B:Wrath, clamor, and evil speaking.
Speaker B:The word wrath means white heat or rage.
Speaker B:That means to lose your what?
Speaker B:Temper?
Speaker B:To really blow up.
Speaker B:To lose your temper, to have a fit of white rage.
Speaker B:Even as it's called there.
Speaker B:If you are very hot heat, you become very heated, we might say.
Speaker B:Then there's clamor.
Speaker B:And I said the word clan.
Speaker B:Clamor means slander.
Speaker B:And then there's evil speaking.
Speaker B:Now, this type of sinful anger is anger that erupts inside of you, but you don't keep it inside.
Speaker B:It comes out of you and it comes out of your mouth, and it affects those around you.
Speaker B:No wonder it says in James, be slow to speak, be quick to hear, and slow what?
Speaker B:To anger, to wrath.
Speaker B:We have to be careful.
Speaker B:This is blowing up.
Speaker B:This is what happened to King.
Speaker B:He blew up with rage because he was defending his ego, His.
Speaker B:He was hurt.
Speaker B:And if this doesn't stop through repentance, it will move to slandering people, saying things, gossiping, slandering people, and even speaking very evil of those people.
Speaker B:I believe this is why Paul prefaces verse 31 with verse 29 when he says, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Speaker B:So we have blowing up.
Speaker B:We have bitterness.
Speaker B:And the other way that anger is manifested in a sinful way is through clamming up.
Speaker B:Clamming up.
Speaker B:The word anger in verse 31 is a different word than the one that is used for anger in verse 26.
Speaker B:This word in verse 31 for anger refers to a settled condition of indignation in which you get source.
Speaker B:Your soul.
Speaker B:Your soul becomes soured with anger and you begin to look at the whole world through your anger.
Speaker B:You turn into a person who is very irritable.
Speaker B:You become very irritable and you start finding fault with about everybody and everything.
Speaker B:Have you ever met somebody like that?
Speaker B:A lot of you are saying, amen.
Speaker B:Yeah, I know people like that.
Speaker B:And what they've done is they haven't externalize their anger.
Speaker B:They're not blowing up, but they have internalized their anger within themselves.
Speaker B:And they become a very sour person, or they become a sour puss and they begin to look at everything in a very, very negative way.
Speaker B:If you're married, you might say that if your spouse begins to clam up, they start to give you something I've mentioned many times before called the silent treatment.
Speaker B:They just quit speaking to you and they begin to kind of walk around and ignore you.
Speaker B:And sometimes that can last for a few days.
Speaker B:Sometimes for some people, it may last for weeks, it may last for months because they have internalized that anger.
Speaker B:They're defending what they think themselves is righteous and good.
Speaker B:Usually it's their own selfishness they're attacking, not someone else outwardly, but they are releasing the energy of their anger.
Speaker B:Where?
Speaker B:Inside.
Speaker B:Now, folks, listen to me.
Speaker B:If you continue to release your anger internally inside, it's going to destroy something.
Speaker B:It's going to destroy you.
Speaker B:I think Dr. John would probably agree.
Speaker B:There's probably a lot of people maybe have ulcers and have other physical problems because they internalize anger within them and they clam up.
Speaker B:They hold it inside.
Speaker B:Now, before I get into the resolution of this, let me just give you a personal illustration.
Speaker B:I'm trying to be very transparent tonight.
Speaker B:You know, something's happening this coming week that I think is very, very wonderful.
Speaker B:You say, what is that?
Speaker B:College football starts.
Speaker B:Many of you like college football.
Speaker B:A lot of ladies say, I don't care anything about that.
Speaker B:My wife likes it.
Speaker B:I'm so thankful.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:But you know what?
Speaker B:I like college football season.
Speaker B:I like to watch college football games.
Speaker B:And I can remember times, you know, that we would have a game that would be coming up, and if I was at home, and Saturday, this particular game was on when Virginia Tech was playing someone, our favorite college football team, and they were playing this other team.
Speaker B:I know this coming week, they're Playing a team called West Virginia, which I really despise.
Speaker B:But if they were playing that team, West Virginia, and we were getting ready to watch that game on Saturday night at 7:30, probably by afternoon the grill is going, maybe Debbie has made one of her wonderful cakes and we're tailgating at home.
Speaker B:We're enjoying a great time, counting down the hours till we beat West Virginia, hopefully.
Speaker B:And at 7:30, finally, we're all sitting there.
Speaker B:Debbie and I are sitting there and we're waiting for the game to start.
Speaker B:The boys are around the house.
Speaker B:Some of them are interested, some of them are not.
Speaker B:But I've waited for this moment.
Speaker B:And finally the moment has come and the game starts and we're into the first quarter, and all of a sudden my two sons get in a fight in the living room while we're watching the game.
Speaker B:Now, really, I wouldn't have cared if they got in a fight in the basement, but they were in the living room and they're messing up my game.
Speaker B:I've been waiting for this all week.
Speaker B:I've been planning for this.
Speaker B:I was looking forward to this peaceful time of sitting there in front of the television enjoying this game, and they have interrupted it all.
Speaker B:And so what do I do?
Speaker B:I blow up.
Speaker B:Maybe I do.
Speaker B:Probably.
Speaker B:I can think of times when I have at my boys.
Speaker B:You're not supposed to shake your head there, baby.
Speaker B:So maybe I blow up.
Speaker B:So what am.
Speaker B:Let me ask you.
Speaker B:I'm just trying to bring this home.
Speaker B:What am I defending when I do that?
Speaker B:In that situation, I'm defending my right to sit down and watch that game the way I plan to watch that game without any interruptions.
Speaker B:How dare you interrupt this game?
Speaker B:How do I release my anger?
Speaker B:I yell at my kids and tell them to be quiet and go in the other room.
Speaker B:And so am I having a case of righteous anger and good anger or bad anger?
Speaker B:Bad anger.
Speaker B:You see, it's so important, I think, and I give you that illustration, because you can always analyze whether your anger is righteous and constructive or whether your anger is sinful and destructive by asking yourself two questions.
Speaker B:Now, I've taken a lot of time to bring this in because I think this is so helpful.
Speaker B:What am I defending and what am I attacking?
Speaker B:What am I defending and what am I attacking?
Speaker B:Again, in my illustration, my anger is in defense of my right to sit down and watch television.
Speaker B:But I'm releasing.
Speaker B:I'm attacking my kids because they're disturbing me and they're violating what I perceive is my right to do this attacking my children by blowing up and getting mad at them.
Speaker B:I'm not addressing the real problem.
Speaker B:In fact, I need to address the problem of my own selfishness.
Speaker B:And also I need to address the problem of their fighting.
Speaker B:But I don't address really either one because I'm enraged.
Speaker B:With sinful anger, you can always analyze whether your anger is righteous and constructive, sinful and destructive, by asking yourself these two questions.
Speaker B:What am I defending and what am I attacking?
Speaker B:Now this brings us.
Speaker B:And I want to close with this.
Speaker B:How do I handle sinful anger?
Speaker B:And I just want to.
Speaker B:I'm going to give you four things, but I'm going to do it pretty quick.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:I'm going to do it pretty quick tonight.
Speaker B:So look with me at verse 26.
Speaker B:Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.
Speaker B:And that word wrath there is inclusive of sinful anger.
Speaker B:That's what it's talking about.
Speaker B:Don't let the sun go down.
Speaker B:Don't go to bed at night with sinful anger.
Speaker B:Anger in your heart.
Speaker B:If you do, it's going to give place to the devil.
Speaker B:And you've heard this before, and I'll say it again tonight.
Speaker B:Every married couple should never go to bed if they have unresolved conflict in their marriage.
Speaker B:They need to get that right.
Speaker B:They don't need to go.
Speaker B:You should never go to bed angry with your husband or with your wife.
Speaker B:You should never go to bed angry with your mom or dad or your son or daughter either.
Speaker B:But there are four ways I want to give you here tonight.
Speaker B:You might want to jot them down to overcome anger.
Speaker B:Number way, number one, put away anger.
Speaker B:Look at verse 31.
Speaker B:Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.
Speaker B:Let me give you another reference to that.
Speaker B:It says the same thing in Colossians chapter 3 and verse 8.
Speaker B:It says, but now ye also put off all these what?
Speaker B:Anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Speaker B:Put it away.
Speaker B:Put it off.
Speaker B:Now, listen, if I am having a health problem and I go to see my favorite doctor sitting back here, Dr. John, and he looks at me and he analyzes what the problem is.
Speaker B:And he comes out and he says, sam, listen, you've really got a major problem.
Speaker B:You're drinking too much coffee and you're getting too much caffeine in your body.
Speaker B:You say, well, how would you respond to that?
Speaker B:I would probably ignore that.
Speaker B:I would probably say, brother John, I think you might be wrong on that diagnosis.
Speaker B:I'd say, what are you.
Speaker B:Are you kidding?
Speaker B:You think I'm going to quit drinking coffee?
Speaker B:Now, listen, if I want to be healthy and I go to the doctor, it doesn't do any good to go there.
Speaker B:If I don't do what he says.
Speaker B:I got an amen tonight.
Speaker B:If I don't obey him, if I don't take the medication he gives me, if he tells me to be on a certain diet, if I don't do the diet he tells me to be on, then why did I go to begin with?
Speaker B:You know, if I go to the physician and he tells me I've got a problem, I need to do what the doctor says.
Speaker B:Now, listen to me.
Speaker B:God is the greatest physician of all.
Speaker B:And God says, you're coming to your great physician, God.
Speaker B:And in his word he says, put away anger.
Speaker B:Put away anger.
Speaker B:Put it away.
Speaker B:So first, and the start, I think is you must believe that you need to obey this command.
Speaker B:That you must obey this command.
Speaker B:That it's important that you see your anger and something that is sinful as something that is hurtful.
Speaker B:And that you need to obey the command of God and you need to put it off or put it away.
Speaker B:And again, I'm going to say this again because I think it's very helpful.
Speaker B:I know it has been to me.
Speaker B:I think it helps you to put off anger by honestly asking yourself those two questions I mentioned a while ago.
Speaker B:What am I defending and what am I attacking?
Speaker B:Number two, continually remind yourself of how much you have been forgiven.
Speaker B:That'll help you a lot.
Speaker B:Look at verse 31, and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Speaker B:Continually remind yourself of how much that you have been forgiven by God.
Speaker B:And it'll make it very easy for you to be forgiving toward other people.
Speaker B:I love the quote by Martyn Lloyd Jones where he says, I say to the glory of God in utter humility that whenever I see myself before God and realize even something of what my blessed Lord has done for me, I'm ready to forgive anybody of anything.
Speaker B:Wow, folks, I think that is so true.
Speaker B:If I look to the cross and I survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died, and.
Speaker B:And I see what Jesus has done for me, I should be ready to forgive anybody of anything.
Speaker B:Because I look at how much I've been forgiven.
Speaker B:And we need to continually look, continually remind ourselves of how much that we have been forgiven.
Speaker B:And then it'll help us to be forgiving.
Speaker B:I know I've said this before, but I'm going to say to once again tonight because I think it's important to be said that Jesus said, if you have been forgiven, you will be forgiving.
Speaker B:That a sign that you're true a Christian is that you realize that your sins are forgiven by God.
Speaker B:So because of that, you're willing to forgive others too.
Speaker B:So every day, I think every one of us need to get a fresh view of the cross of Christ and we need to preach the gospel to ourselves and remind ourselves of how much God loves us and how much God has forgiven us.
Speaker B:Number three.
Speaker B:Trusting God's justice.
Speaker B:Trust in God's justice.
Speaker B:How many of you here tonight have ever been wronged by somebody else?
Speaker B:I think probably all of us would say, yeah, I can.
Speaker B:You know, there's many times maybe you have been a victim of sinful things that have been done against you.
Speaker B:Even as I talked about Joseph this morning where he was wronged by Potiphar's wife and put into a prison.
Speaker B:Most of us have never been put into a prison or any of us because somebody accused us falsely, he was.
Speaker B:But because we have been unfairly treated and we have been hurt, we feel like that the one who has hurt us and unfairly treated us deserves to be punished.
Speaker B:I mean, that's a natural feeling that we would have.
Speaker B:This person has hurt me.
Speaker B:I've done nothing.
Speaker B:They should be punished for what they've done.
Speaker B:And you know what?
Speaker B:You probably many times might be right.
Speaker B:But if you look at Romans chapter 12 and verse 19, it says this.
Speaker B:Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto.
Speaker B:For it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord.
Speaker B:Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, this is a hard command.
Speaker B:Feed him.
Speaker B:If he thirsts, give him drink.
Speaker B:For in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Speaker B:Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
Speaker B:And folks, listen, you will not do that if you're not in harmony, in tune with God, if you're not filled with the Holy Spirit.
Speaker B:I think of the verse I often mentioned couples when it comes to conflict, sometimes in first Peter, chapter three and verse eight, where it says, finally, be all of one mind, having compassion, one of another.
Speaker B:Love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.
Speaker B:And here it is not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing, but contrariwise, a blessing, knowing that you are thereunto called, that you should inherit a blessing.
Speaker B:When somebody curses you, when somebody rails you, when there's a door, an opportunity for you get angry in that situation.
Speaker B:God says, don't render evil for evil.
Speaker B:Don't give them evil back.
Speaker B:Don't curse them back.
Speaker B:Instead, give them a blessing.
Speaker B:Bless them.
Speaker B:I can remember times when I may have said something harsh to Debbie, my wife.
Speaker B:And sweet as she is, she would not say something harsh back to me.
Speaker B:She would say something nice back to me.
Speaker B:And then that would open the door when she did, for me to start thinking about what I had just said, to get under conviction by the Holy Spirit and think, how could she answer so nicely when I was so harsh?
Speaker B:What that does, it opens the door for her to inherit a blessing.
Speaker B:You see, we're not to be like the world.
Speaker B:That's what the world does.
Speaker B:The world renders evil for evil.
Speaker B:The world renders cursing for cursing.
Speaker B:But we are not to be as a world, we're to put off anger.
Speaker B:We're to put these things off.
Speaker B:And let me remind you here tonight, in case you have forgotten, that Jesus was perfect and Jesus did no wrong.
Speaker B:But in First Peter, chapter 2 and verse 23, it says, who?
Speaker B:When he was reviled, reviled not again.
Speaker B:When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judges righteously.
Speaker B:Here's Jesus Christ.
Speaker B:He is sinless.
Speaker B:He is perfectly God incarnate.
Speaker B:But yet when he was reviled, he didn't revile back.
Speaker B:When he suffered, he didn't threaten back.
Speaker B:He committed himself to who, him that judges righteously.
Speaker B:And certainly nobody has ever been wronged more than Jesus Christ.
Speaker B:And Jesus was perfect.
Speaker B:Yet as God in flesh as an example for us, he left judgment to His Father.
Speaker B:How much more should we do the same?
Speaker B:God promises to repay judgment to those who do wickedness and evil acts.
Speaker B:Leave the judgment to God.
Speaker B:He judges righteously.
Speaker B:He is a righteous God.
Speaker B:And the question is, do we trust God to do what he says?
Speaker B:Do we need to take it in our own hands?
Speaker B:Or will we trust God to do as he says he'll do?
Speaker B:Leave that vengeance to the Lord.
Speaker B:God says it belongs to me.
Speaker B:Here's the last thing.
Speaker B:Trusting God's purpose.
Speaker B:Trusting God's purpose.
Speaker B:It says in James, chapter one and verse two.
Speaker B:My brethren, count it all, joy when you fall into divers temptations knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh what?
Speaker B:Patience, Perseverance in your life?
Speaker B:God is doing something when trials and tribulations come your way.
Speaker B:In fact, God says, count it all, joy when they do.
Speaker B:God, I'm to count it all, joy when I fall.
Speaker B:When these unexpected trials and tribulations come into my life.
Speaker B:God said yes.
Speaker B:Count it all joy knowing what Knowing that the trying of your faith God is doing something in your life.
Speaker B:The trying of our faith often includes being confronted with the possibility of sinful anger.
Speaker B:And God often allows us to be confronted with sinful anger so that through the trial of our faith we'll be refined.
Speaker B:We'll have more genuine and pure faith that God desires for us to have.
Speaker B:So we're to count it all joy in the midst of that trial that we have the opportunity to glorify God and not respond as the world responds.
Speaker B:Not to respond as an unbeliever response, but to react and respond as God would have us to respond.
Speaker B:Be angry folks.
Speaker B:God says and sin not thank you.
Speaker A:For joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast, and if you feel encouraged by today's teaching, give us a follow so we can invite you back and share us on your socials so more marriages and families can be strengthened and fortified through the truths of God's word.
Speaker A:Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God, God's Word.
