Parenting in a Broken World | Part 3

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Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

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It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

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Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

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And now here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

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I often think from my background, I have an engineering background and I like to put things in formulas.

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And I've often thought to myself, it sure would be nice if you could put parenting in a formula.

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I mean, A plus B plus C equals a godly child, you know, and how many of you parents would like it?

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Kind of makes it a little bit simpler, we might say.

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And so we do like to put things and think of things being that way.

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But God gives us principles in the word of God to live by and to use.

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And I'm so thankful that he gives us those principles in His Word that we can have discernment.

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And through prayer and through the filling of the Holy Spirit, we can work out those things in our parenting.

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Certainly that's so important for us to see and understand.

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So I want to get started and dive back in tonight.

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And let me read From Ephesians chapter 6 again in verse 4, Ephesians, chapter 6 and verse 4 it says, Angie, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

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Now in our first session this morning, I looked briefly at the foundation, I called it the foundation of parenting.

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And we looked at the approach to parenting that parents need to be on the same page.

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That is, we need to be on God's page, not the world's page.

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We looked at parental authority and talked about that and what that looks like.

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And we talked about four aspects of when God gives us authority that we need to understand.

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And then we talked about parental accountability, specifically speaking to the fathers and indirectly speaking to the mothers as they're in a one flesh relationship, not provoke your children to wrath.

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Now in this session tonight, I want to look at the positive side of parenting.

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Tonight, that is what to do.

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Now, we looked this morning as what not to do.

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So tonight we might say what to do.

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But bring them up in the nurture or discipline and admonition or instruction of the Lord.

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And notice the but there that is placed between the negative side of the command and the positive side of the command that is given to us there in this verse, don't provoke your child, but do what?

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Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

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Now I like to call the positive side of Verse four, the heart of parenting.

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The heart of parenting.

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Because it gets to the heart really of what we as parents are to do.

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Now notice the first part of the command.

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It says bring them up.

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And I hope you'll underline that.

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Those three words.

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I hope you'll circle those three words.

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Cause they are big, I think very, very important words to see and very, very important words to understand.

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The Greek word translated here is bring them up is only found one other place in the New Testament, and that's in Ephesians 5:29, where it's translated as nourish.

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And a husband is commanded to what?

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Nourish their wife as their own body.

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Now the meaning of bring them up then refers, really, if you were to ask me what does it really mean there?

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A husband is to nourish his wife as his own body, parent is to bring up their children.

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It really refers to the atmosphere.

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I would like to describe it the way the atmosphere in which discipline, the discipline and instruction of the Lord are to be given.

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So it's so, so important to see and understand that there is an atmosphere in the home in which this discipline is to be given and the instruction of the Lord is to be given.

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Now to understand what this atmosphere looks like, it says at the end of the verse 4 of the Lord, the discipline and instruction.

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What of the Lord, that is, parents are to exercise the discipline and instruction that they give their children in a spirit filled atmosphere, an atmosphere in keeping with the Christianity that they claim to possess in their own lives.

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So parents should always be living in such a way that their children should always have a feeling and understanding that they themselves are under Christ or they are living in a home that is where Christ is the head of that home.

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And I remind you again that for parents to obey this command, that they need to be, even as I said this morning, they need to be filled with the Spirit of God.

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So important.

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We're also told in Galatians chapter 5 in verse 22, that the fruit of the Spirit, a fruit of a spirit filled life is what love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

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So the atmosphere, the atmosphere in which we're to nourish or bring up our children is to be a spirit filled environment.

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Whether we demonstrate the fruits of the Spirit to our children that include love and acceptance of our children.

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Now, for those who are married, this requires that a husband and wife exhibit patience, kindness, gentleness and self control between each other in their marriage.

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Okay.

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Order.

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That the atmosphere is what it needs to be in the home.

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Our marriage again, as I said this morning, should reflect the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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Our children again should see a picture of Christianity in miniature in their home.

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Now I want to stress this, and I'm taking some time to stress this cause I think it's vitally important.

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This is a vitally important part parenting.

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We have counseled quite a few couples that came to us with parent what they perceived as parenting problems.

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Their children were rebellious in the home, would not obey them.

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There were other problems and things in some of these parents homes.

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And then after I would talk to them for a while, I began to realize that the atmosphere in their home, in their marriage was very bad.

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It was a lot of conflict, there was a lot of harsh things said.

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And all of this was being done in the presence of their children.

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And so their children were not being brought up in this type of spirit field atmosphere.

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So we would start with those parents by trying to help them in the marriage.

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And once we did do that, I can remember one couple in particular coming back after several weeks and said, listen, we haven't done anything really different in our parenting.

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The only thing we worked on is us.

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And so by working on us and trying to live a spirit filled life and being kind to each other, patient with each other, being the husband and wife that God has called us to be, it's all, we've already seen a change in our children just from that.

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And so again I want to say the spiritual climate in our home is essential in our parenting.

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It's so, so important.

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We need to bring up our children in a spirit filled atmosphere.

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And as we do that, then we can do what it says next.

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That is, we can bring them up in the discipline or the nurture and admonition or instruction of the Lord.

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Now in this session tonight I want to talk about this first part of bringing them up.

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That is in the discipline of the Lord.

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The word discipline also means nurture as it's translated or training can mean chastising, can mean correction.

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Pilate actually used the same Greek word when he said to Jesus, I will therefore chastise and release him, or I will therefore in ESV punish him and release him.

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But we might ask the question, and I think it's a question that's important to ask and think about as we consider discipline of our children.

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And that is why does God command parents to discipline their children?

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Why does he command us to do this?

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And I think the book of Proverbs really gives us some very important reasons why that we are to Discipline our children.

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So I wanna mention several briefly here tonight.

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I think the first reason is for our children's sake, for our children's sake.

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And I'm reminded of Proverbs: 13:24

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Bruce Walkie explains.

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Loving parents seek to correct the faults of their children because their children's lives favor protection.

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Healing, dignity and prosperity are at stake.

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Unloving parents turn their backs on them and hand them over to death, social ruin, public exposure, calamity, and shameful poverty.

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Now, when we think about this and for our children's sake, I can't help but think about the example of Hophni and Phinehas, the sons of Eli, who was a priest, where the Bible says in 1st Samuel chapter 2 and verse 12, now, the sons of Eli were sons of Belial, or the devil.

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They knew not the Lord.

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That is, they treated the offerings of the Lord with contempt and committed sexual sin with women who served at the entrance of the tent of meeting.

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And God expressed his anger and judgment in 1st Samuel 3, chapter 3, and verse 13, when he said, for I have told them that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knoweth, speaking of Eli, because his sons made themselves vile.

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And then it ends with these words, and he restrained them not.

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Parents who love their children will not permit them to pay the very high cost of an undisciplined life.

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Charles Bridges, in his commentary on Proverbs, states, our character largely takes the form of that mold into which early years were cast.

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If the crooked shoot of self will and disobedience are not cut off, their rapid growth and rapidly growing strength will greatly increase the future difficulty of bending them at some later time.

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It's just like a shoot, a little small plant or a bush that's gonna grow and form into something.

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I can remember years ago when we would go.

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We went to Disney World when our boys were small, and we would see all these different bushes.

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And I'd look over there.

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There's a Mickey Mouse bush and there's a Pluto bush, and there's this bush and that bush.

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And I thought, how in the world they get that bush to look like Pluto?

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I thought it didn't just naturally grow up and start looking like Pluto by itself.

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When it was very small and young and tender.

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It was formed, it was cut, it was bent.

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Wires were put in place to get it to look like what they wanted it to look.

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Like at a later time, my son, When I think about this, for our children's sake, my son Adam has often come to me and said, dad, he's been around other when being around other children.

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I just want to thank you so much for not letting me grow up to be a brat.

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And so many children will come back and thank their parents at a later time, maybe not at present, but at a later time, for disciplining them.

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It's for their sake, but not only for our children's sake, but also for our neighbor's sake.

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In Mark chapter 12 and verse 31, it says, and the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

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I believe a second motivation for faithfully disciplining our children is to help fulfill the command to love thy neighbor as thyself.

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Have you ever tried to maybe, I'm sure you probably have.

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Eat at a restaurant or attend an event where children next to you were totally out of control and totally undisciplined.

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And it's so disturbing when you watch and you see that and you think to yourself, why don't they get control of their children?

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Why don't they discipline their children?

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Consider the son, we might say, who is not disciplined as a child.

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He grows up, he becomes a deadbeat dad and it brings years of pain to his wife and his children.

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Or consider the little girl who never learned the principles of modesty and to control her sexual desire, then matures into an adulterer, bringing destruction to entire families.

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Spoiled brats grow up to be self centered spouses that demand their own way.

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And the failure to discipline children has.

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Listen, it has ripple effects far beyond the home.

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And I think we can see this all around us, is very evident around us as we look at the way children have been brought up in many of them in their 20s, 30s, even today.

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I think it's so true when I say that to think of the statement the wealth of a nation is its parents.

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And certainly I believe that is true.

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The greatest service that parents can render to a society is to raise their children, raise godly children that will be godly citizens, certainly, and to reflect Jesus Christ.

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So we discipline our children for their sake, for a neighbor's sake, but also let me say, for our own sake, for our own sake.

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And I think of Proverbs: 29:17

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Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

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Godly children.

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Listen, folks, Godly children are a great source of joy and delight to their Parents, as it's affirmed by this proverb.

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And I know Pastor Peter stood up this morning and he said, you know, Brother Wood is much older than I am, and I am.

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And not in that way, I guess, but that he said, but I do have grown children, and my youngest son is now 34.

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My oldest son will be turning 40, as I said this morning.

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And one of the things that delights us and delights me as much as anything that could possibly bring me joy and delight is for my son to call up and tell me about how God is speaking to him in some way.

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Or my son to call up and say, dad, I read this book.

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Have you read this book?

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And man, this is awesome.

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What God showed me from this book.

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It's awesome to see your kids as they grow up, follow Christ, have devotion to Christ, and to see them bringing their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and I.

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And I'm so thankful for the blessing that God has given us.

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And looking at all of our four sons, and in their devotion to Christ, they know Christ and the devotion in Christ.

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And it does.

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This is so true, this Proverbs.

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It does bring great rest and brings great delight to our souls.

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true, as it says in Proverbs: 29:15

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A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

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Few things shame a mother, a few things shame a father even more than a child's willful disobedience.

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J.C.

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ryle in his book the Duties of Parents, states this about King David.

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He says, see to the case of David, who can read without pain the history of his children and their sons.

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Ammon's incest, Absalom's murder and proud rebellion, Adonijai's scheming ambition.

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Truly these were grievous wounds for the man after God's own heart to receive from his own house.

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Was there no fault on his side?

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I fear there can be no doubt that there was.

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I find a clue to it all in the account of Adoniji in First Kings, chapter 1 and verse 6, where he says, his father never at any time displeased him by asking, why have you done thus and sow?

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There was a fountain of all the mischief.

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David was an overindulgent father, a father who let his children have their own way, and he reaped according as he sowed.

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Not only, O do we discipline our children for their sake, not only do we discipline them for our neighbor's sake, and for their sake, neighbor's sake, our own sake, but also most importantly, for the glory of God.

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We do it for the glory of God.

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And I think of 1 Corinthians, chapter 10 and verse 31 where it says, wherefore therefore you eat or drink or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God.

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Godly children are living testimony to the truth of the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

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When the world sees these disciplined children and well behaved children who are obeying and honoring their parents, it brings glory to God.

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Especially in a day like today, in a culture like we're living in, where it's rare to see that when you go out in public.

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So when people do see that, it brings great glory to God when parents are raising these children this way.

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Also, the reason that God said to be fruitfully multiply was to replenish or bring image bearers of God across the world and around the world.

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That would be glorifying to Him.

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When I say that, I think of what Jesus stated in his Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter 5 and verse 16, where he says, let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father, which is in heaven.

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And when we discipline our children in the Lord, it shines a great light.

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I believe it.

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It beams a light before all men and it glorifies God.

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I think of in our own personal situation, I think of relatives that we have that are lost, that don't know Christ.

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And they often have come to us and said, it's something different about your kids, it's something different about your boys.

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They're so respectful, they're so polite, and I'm not.

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And this is glorifying to God because the reason they are and the reason we can tell them then is because they have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

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Now at this point, we might ask the question, what exactly does this discipline look like when it says to bring them up in the spiritual atmosphere, in the discipline of the Lord, what does this discipline, we might say, look like?

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You have listened to the first part of a two part message by Evangelist Sam Wood.

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Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

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