Portrait of a Godly Husband - Part 1
This episode highlights the importance of embracing biblical roles as part of God’s design for relationships. Focusing on 1 Peter 3:7, we explore how husbands are called to live with their wives in an understanding way—going beyond simply sharing a home to intentionally investing time, affection, and deep connection. It’s a call to restore the beauty of marriage and stand firm against today’s societal confusion.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.
Speaker A:It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.
Speaker A:Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.
Speaker A:And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.
Speaker B:But before I dive into our text in First Peter, I want to remind you that we live in a culture that is very confused about the role of the husband and the role of the wife.
Speaker B:In fact, we live in a culture that's very confused about marriage, that marriage is between a man and a woman.
Speaker B:Now listen, our culture may be confused.
Speaker B:The media around us, I believe, is very confused.
Speaker B:Politicians are confused.
Speaker B:But certainly the church should not be confused.
Speaker B:We need to understand what God has to say concerning the role of the husband and the role of the wife and what marriage is to look like.
Speaker B:And so I want to remind you this morning that the biblical roles that God has given to the husband and wife are creational.
Speaker B:They're not cultural, but they are creational.
Speaker B:And that's very important for us to understand, too.
Speaker B:I love this quote by John Piper.
Speaker B:He says, in the Bible, differentiated roles for men and women are never traced back to the fall of man and woman into sin.
Speaker B:Rather, the foundation of this differentiation is traced back to the way things were in Eden before sin warped our relationships.
Speaker B:Differentiated roles were corrupted, not created by the fall, they were created by God.
Speaker B:And I remind you, even in the New Testament, when Jesus or Paul the Apostle Paul had something to say about marriage, where would they go back to?
Speaker B:They would go back to Genesis chapter two.
Speaker B:They would go back to the original design of the marriage relationship.
Speaker B:Now, it's critically important to understand that when we do not follow God's design for marriage, that we blaspheme.
Speaker B:And that's a strong word, but I just want to give it out here this morning that we are blaspheming what God has created marriage to picture.
Speaker B:That is, God created marriage to picture an earthly manifestation of Jesus Christ and his church.
Speaker B:So when we're not carrying out the biblical roles of a husband and wife, we're blaspheming the picture that God made marriage to be on this earth.
Speaker B:In fact, Titus, speaking to the aged women says this.
Speaker B:He says that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands and to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands.
Speaker B:Notice the end of verse five.
Speaker B:That the word of God be not what blasphemed.
Speaker B:That the word of God be not blasphemed.
Speaker B:In fact, in Malachi chapter two, where God is speaking to the men of Judah and he speaks to them in verse 11 and he says, you have committed an abomination in Israel because you have profaned the holy institution which I love, speaking of the institution of marriage.
Speaker B:The reason God says that is because they have dealt treacherously with the wives whom they are married to.
Speaker B:So God says when the wife does not carry out her God given role as the wife that God has given to her, it blasphemes a picture of marriage that God created marriage to represent.
Speaker B:And when the husband does not carry out the role that God has given to him as a husband, God says it's an abomination to him.
Speaker B:This is very serious business with God is what I'm saying here this morning.
Speaker B:It's no wonder that Satan is attacking marriage.
Speaker B:It's no wonder Satan is attacking the home.
Speaker B:It's no wonder Satan is attacking the family the way that he's attacking it today.
Speaker B:Therefore, I want to look this morning at the God ordained role of the husband.
Speaker B:And I want to look tonight at the God ordained role of the wife.
Speaker B:And you might say, well, why are you preaching to the husbands first?
Speaker B:Because we need the most help.
Speaker B:And I know if I was preaching to the wives here this morning and I said I was going to be preaching to the husbands tonight, none of them may not show up.
Speaker B:So I'm picking on the husbands here this morning.
Speaker B:Now, singles, don't tune me out.
Speaker B:I know some of you are here and you're singles.
Speaker B:You raise your hand, say, yes, I'm looking toward marriage or whether or not you are, if you're a single young lady, you need to pay attention this morning because God is going to show you this morning what to look for in a godly husband.
Speaker B:And if you are a single man here today, then you need to pay attention to what I'm going to preach this morning because God wants you to understand what it means to be a godly husband.
Speaker B:So look with me if you would at first Peter, chapter three.
Speaker B:And I'm going to start reading in verse one and I'm going to read down through verse seven.
Speaker B:Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of hair and of wearing of Gold, or of putting on of apparel.
Speaker B:But let it be the hidden man of the heart, and that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Speaker B:For after this manner, in the old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, lord, whose daughters ye are, as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Speaker B:Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.
Speaker B:Well, look with me.
Speaker B:And my focus this morning is on verse seven, where that Peter is speaking to the husbands.
Speaker B:Notice the first word in verse seven.
Speaker B:It says likewise, likewise.
Speaker B:And this refers to what Peter said in the previous verses, we might say, concerning the wife's submission to her husband.
Speaker B:Peter is saying that submission is not only the responsibility of the wife, but likewise, submission is a responsibility of a Christian husband, where the wife is to submit to her husband as her head.
Speaker B:Peter shows us in verse 7 how a husband submits through exercising sacrificial, loving headship with his wife.
Speaker B:And like a skilled artist, Peter, using the brushstrokes of the word of God, he paints us three portraits, really in this verse, of what a godly husband should look like.
Speaker B:So I want you to look at these three portraits today.
Speaker B:I hope you'll take notes.
Speaker B:Hope me.
Speaker B:And you'll write these down.
Speaker B:And hope you will not just listen to what I'm going to say and agree with me.
Speaker B:But I hope you will examine your own heart as I go through this passage.
Speaker B:The first portrait that Peter paints is a man who lives with his wife.
Speaker B:A man who lives with his wife.
Speaker B:Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge.
Speaker B:Notice the words dwell with.
Speaker B:The word dwell with means to take up residence.
Speaker B:It means to spend time with, or it simply means to live with husbands.
Speaker B:You're to live your wife.
Speaker B:How are we to live with them?
Speaker B:It goes on to tell us.
Speaker B:And it says, according to knowledge, we're to live with them.
Speaker B:We're to spend time with them.
Speaker B:How?
Speaker B:According to knowledge.
Speaker B:And according to knowledge refers to having an understanding of our wife.
Speaker B:To really paraphrase a statement, a husband is to live with spend time with his wife that he might have an understanding her.
Speaker B:Now, in growing up, I'm the youngest of eight children.
Speaker B:You've heard me probably say this before, and my dad never taught me anything about what it Meant to be a husband.
Speaker B:He never taught me anything about what it meant to understand a woman.
Speaker B:In fact, the only thing he ever told me about women is this.
Speaker B:He said, you'll never, ever be able to understand a woman.
Speaker B:Now, some of you.
Speaker B:Have y'all ever heard that before?
Speaker B:Guys, some of y'all have probably heard that.
Speaker B:I mean, there's some strange creature from some foreign planet that you cannot understand.
Speaker B:And sometimes we might feel that way.
Speaker B:But God is saying here, as a husband, speaking to the husband, he's saying that you are to live with her, take up residence with her, spend time with her, that you might have an understanding of her.
Speaker B:Now, listen, you can't have an understanding of anyone that you do not spend time with.
Speaker B:The key to having an understanding of someone is that you spend time with that person.
Speaker B:Let me just say this morning, I will not have an understanding of God if I don't spend time in the word of God.
Speaker B:I won't have an understanding of God if I don't spend time in prayer with God.
Speaker B:Want to have an understanding with God.
Speaker B:Listen.
Speaker B:And it's so important that God created the church, that I don't spend time with the people of God.
Speaker B:To have an understanding of God, I must spend time with God.
Speaker B:And certainly to have an understanding of my wife, I must spend time with her.
Speaker B:You say, preacher, this seems pretty obvious.
Speaker B:This seems pretty simple.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:It is pretty obvious.
Speaker B:It's pretty simple, but it's also very profound because I have found in my counseling and dealing with families for going on 25 years now that one of the greatest problems that most marriage relations have is as simple as what I'm saying right here.
Speaker B:They do not spend time together.
Speaker B:I was flying home on a plane several years ago, and I came across an article in USA Today entitled Commuter Marriage Relationships.
Speaker B:And it described a relationship where a husband lived in one city, his wife lived in another city, and they would commute to see each other maybe every weekend, maybe once or twice a month.
Speaker B:And I thought, how strange.
Speaker B:I didn't get married to commute to see my wife, Debbie.
Speaker B:I married her so I could spend time with her, so I could live with her, take up residence with her and be with her.
Speaker B:But he went on to say in this article, there were over a million commuter marriage relationships in America, and it was increasing very, very rapidly.
Speaker B:Folks, if we're not careful, listen, we can be like two metro trains that pass horses in our home, and we pass paths in our home, but we really never spend time, that much time, really, with each Other.
Speaker B:Now listen, I love you.
Speaker B:When I say I love Debbie, what that's saying indirectly is I will spend time with you because I love you.
Speaker B:Because the truth of the matter is you spend time with what you love.
Speaker B:If you want to see what you really loved over the last week, go back and chart where you spent your time.
Speaker B:See how much time you spent watching television.
Speaker B:See how much time you spent reading, see how much time you spent in sports.
Speaker B:Guys, I challenge you to think over the last week and see how much time you really spent with your wife.
Speaker B:I'm talking about real time as I'm going to describe here in just a moment.
Speaker B:We spend time with what we love.
Speaker B:And if I have time, husbands, if I have time to watch television, if I have time to go play golf, if I have time to do this or that, go hunting, go fishing, if I have time to do all those things, and I never have time to really spend some time with my wife.
Speaker B:What it paints to her is I love that more than I love her.
Speaker B:So Peter says here, listen, the first portrait of a husband who is a godly husband is he's a man who spends time with his wife.
Speaker B:Now, what does that look like, practically speaking?
Speaker B:How are we, practically speaking, to spend time as a husband with her wife?
Speaker B:I want to share with you several ways, practically speaking, where to do that.
Speaker B:The first one is there needs to be some time, guys, for affection.
Speaker B:Time for affection.
Speaker B:Webster defines affection as a tender feeling towards someone.
Speaker B:And certainly I love that definition because we should have a tender feeling towards our wife.
Speaker B:If I'm affectionate toward Debbie, I'll have a tender feeling toward her.
Speaker B:But there was a survey of over 10,000 Christian women several years ago done in America, in churches all across America.
Speaker B:And they were asked to define or give their definition of affection.
Speaker B:And they defined affection this way.
Speaker B:They defined affection as non sexual meaningful touch.
Speaker B:Non sexual meaningful touch.
Speaker B:A lot of wives out here are thinking, yeah, that's a good definition.
Speaker B:That's when a husband comes up to his wife, wraps his arms around her, gives her a kiss on the cheek.
Speaker B:There's no sexual intention in mind.
Speaker B:It's just simply saying, I love you.
Speaker B:I think of the verse when I say this in Colossians chapter three and verse 19, kind of a parallel command where it says, husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them.
Speaker B:The word bitter means to be harsh.
Speaker B:It means to exasperate someone, to irritate someone, or to be non affectionate towards someone.
Speaker B:Mel Gibson playing cab driver, Jerry Fletcher in the movie Conspiracy Theory said this to someone riding in his cab in the movie I love it.
Speaker B:He said, love gives you wings.
Speaker B:It makes you fly.
Speaker B:I don't even call it love.
Speaker B:I call it Geronimo.
Speaker B:You see, when you're in love, you'll jump from the top of the Empire State Building and you won't care, screaming Geronimo all the way down.
Speaker B:Then you'll die, objects the passenger.
Speaker B:You'll squash yourself.
Speaker B:And Fletcher responds, love gives you wings.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Because affection gives love, it really gives love new wings.
Speaker B:A husband who regularly gives affection to his wife fills a relationship with tender loving care that rekindles and warms the heart of his wife and gives the marriage wings to soar to new heights it had never been before.
Speaker B:So certainly, as a husband, if I'm going to live with my wife according to knowledge or according to understanding, there has to be some time for.
Speaker B:For affection.
Speaker B:But not only time for affection, but there needs to be some time for attention, too.
Speaker B:For attention?
Speaker B:Listen to the words in Psalm 116:1 2, I love the Lord because he hath heard my voice and my supplications, because he hath inclined his ear unto me.
Speaker B:Therefore will I call upon him long as I shall live.
Speaker B:The psalmist says that one of the reasons that he loves the Lord so much is that God always listens to him.
Speaker B:Folks, we don't ever have to feel alone.
Speaker B:Because no matter how extreme, no matter how trivial, no matter how distressed we are, no matter how excited we are, how senseless we are, how logical my communication is, God listens.
Speaker B:Praise God, he does.
Speaker B:He not only listens, but notice a phrase in that verse.
Speaker B:In verse two, it says, he hath what inclined his ear?
Speaker B:I love this.
Speaker B:Unto me.
Speaker B:He's inclined his ear unto me.
Speaker B:That implies that he bends forward to listen to me intently, proving what I have to say to him is very important to him.
Speaker B:So, husbands, giving your wife attention really involves several things I want to share with you here this morning.
Speaker B:Number one, it involves no distractions.
Speaker B:No distractions.
Speaker B:I'm not really giving someone my attention unless there is no competition or no distractions when I do that.
Speaker B:Now, guys, listen.
Speaker B:If you sit down and say, honey, let's sit down together and we can watch the basketball game and talk, that's not giving her your attention.
Speaker B:Giving her your attention says that there will be no competition.
Speaker B:There will be no distractions for your attention.
Speaker B:I remember when our boys were small and one of them would want to say something to their mother or say something to me.
Speaker B:And we would be busy doing something, and they would run over and they would grab our face between both hands and pull it to them so they could talk to us.
Speaker B:Y'all ever had that happen before?
Speaker B:You know what they're saying?
Speaker B:Listen to me.
Speaker B:Hear me.
Speaker B:I got something to say.
Speaker B:You're distracted.
Speaker B:I want you to pay attention to me.
Speaker B:Now, listen, guys, you need to find that time.
Speaker B:You need to carve out that time in your schedule, in your day where that you give your wife your undivided attention.
Speaker B:That might look like sitting on the front porch by yourself before you go to bed for 30 minutes and just talking.
Speaker B:It might look like something Debbie and I do about every day when we're home.
Speaker B:That is to take a walk to the bluff line and back and talk during that time about our marriage, about our kids, about our relationship with God, and what God has shown each of us in a time that even we can pray together.
Speaker B:But giving someone your attention also involves not only listening with no distractions, it involves also something called empathy.
Speaker B:When I empathize with my wife, I try to put myself, excuse me, in her place.
Speaker B:I try to feel what she is feeling and understand what's happening in her life.
Speaker B:I need to understand, as a husband, what struggles maybe she is going through, what goals she has, what are her dreams, her desires in her life.
Speaker B:I like to picture it this way.
Speaker B:You know, the Bible says, guys, it says a husband is ahead of his wife.
Speaker B:And I've often said this, and I'll remind you of it again this morning.
Speaker B:In Ephesians 5, it says a husband is the head of his wife.
Speaker B:It isn't a question of whether or not you're the head of your wife.
Speaker B:The question is, what kind of head are you?
Speaker B:What kind of headship are you exercising?
Speaker B:That's what we're talking about here today.
Speaker B:But that word head is a very interesting word.
Speaker B:In fact, in the Greek, it's KEP HALE About 80, 85% of the time in Greek literature and even in the scripture, when it mentions this word, kapehele, and it mentions the word head, it's talking about the actual head, a person, or the head of an animal.
Speaker B:I believe that's a really good analogy because the Bible pictures a husband as the head of his wife and says a wife is his what?
Speaker B:His body.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:So it gives us a good analogy.
Speaker B:It's kind of like my person standing up here as you look at me here today.
Speaker B:Here's my head.
Speaker B:Here's my body.
Speaker B:If I sever my head, if I cut myself right here at the neck and sever my head from my body.
Speaker B:My person is dead.
Speaker B:I'm in bad shape.
Speaker B:For my person to survive, my head must communicate with my body and my body must communicate with my head.
Speaker B:If my body acts independently of my head and it starts doing all kind of funky things, I'm said to be having convulsions.
Speaker B:When a wife acts independently of her husband, it creates a convulsive marriage relationship.
Speaker B:But in a similar way, if my head is not sending signals to my body, then my body becomes paralyzed.
Speaker B:It does not know what to do.
Speaker B:In a similar way, a marriage where the husband is not sending signals to his wife, is not leading her, the marriage becomes paralyzed.
Speaker B:And God uses this wonderful illustration and he's saying, husbands, think of your body and how you are empathetic towards your body.
Speaker B:You nourish.
Speaker B:It says in Ephesians 5, you nourish and cherish your body.
Speaker B:You care so much about your body.
Speaker B:You're listening to your body.
Speaker B:You're empathizing with your body.
Speaker B:When your body hurts, you do something about that hurt in your body.
Speaker B:If your knee hurts, you're going to do something.
Speaker B:You'll take some medication, you do something to help your knee quit hurting.
Speaker B:In the same way, a husband, if he's giving his wife attention, empathizes with his wife.
Speaker B:Now, to do that, I have to spend time with her, I have to talk to her, I have to communicate with her so I know what's happening in my body, in my wife.
Speaker B:Then I can empathize with her.
Speaker B:I can come beside her, I can encourage her.
Speaker B:I can share the word of God with her.
Speaker B:I can pray with her.
Speaker B:I can be the husband that God has called me to be.
Speaker A:You have listened to the first part of a two part message by evangelist Sam Wood.
Speaker A:Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast.
Speaker A:And if you feel encouraged by today's teaching, give us a follow so we can invite you back and share us on your socials so more marriages and families can be strengthened and fortified through the truths of God's Word.
Speaker A:Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's Word.
