Portrait of a Godly Husband | Part 2
Marriage is an enduring covenant commitment that includes a lifelong dance of understanding, honoring, and connecting with your spouse. In this episode, we explore how husbands can build trust through openness and communication. Sam shares three key traits of a godly husband—spending quality time, honoring his wife, and praying together—offering practical advice, personal stories, and moments of laughter along the way.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.
Speaker A:It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.
Speaker A:Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.
Speaker A:And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.
Speaker B:So there needs to be some time for affection.
Speaker B:There needs to be some time for attention.
Speaker B:But let me say thirdly, there needs to be some time for appreciation.
Speaker B:For appreciation.
Speaker B:You know, one of the things that you can do if you're not careful after even a few years of marriage.
Speaker B:I mean, this may, Debbie and I will be married 40 years.
Speaker B:It's hard to believe it's gone by this quick.
Speaker B:It's been wonderful.
Speaker B:But even after you've been married for a few years, if you're not careful, you can take each other for what?
Speaker B:For granted.
Speaker B:It's so easy to take your wife for granted.
Speaker B:All the things that a wife does.
Speaker B:I remember when all our boys were home and Debbie would slave away in the kitchen for several hours and she'd fix this wonderful supper.
Speaker B:My four boys would run in there and eat it in five minutes and scarf it down.
Speaker B:And I said, listen, your mother spent two or three hours making that meal.
Speaker B:You make sure after you finish that you take time to show her appreciation.
Speaker B:Let her know how much you appreciate that meal she cooked.
Speaker B:We are to show appreciation to our wives, to let them know how much we appreciate what they've done.
Speaker B:Cleaning the house, cooking the meals.
Speaker B:Many wives working 40 hours just like their husbands, taking care of their children.
Speaker B:And the list can go on and on and on.
Speaker B:And there's some very practical ways that we can show our appreciation.
Speaker B:One of them is through words.
Speaker B:The words that we say in First Corinthians, chapter 8 and verse 1, Paul explains a tremendous truth.
Speaker B:He says, love edifies.
Speaker B:Love edifies.
Speaker B:The word edify is an architectural word that means to construct something or to build something up.
Speaker B:True godly love is expressed through words that build the recipient of that love up.
Speaker B:And certainly one of the ways that a husband can build up his wife and one of the ways a husband can tear down his wife also or degrade her glory is through his words, what comes out of his mouth.
Speaker B:And I remind you guys here this morning, I remind us all this morning that your mouth is an echo chamber of your heart.
Speaker B:That is what comes out of your mouth is a result of what's in your heart.
Speaker B:Mark Twain said that he could live two months off of a good compliment.
Speaker B:And certainly I think one of the greatest needs we have in the church today, in the body of Christ, as we meet together on Sunday mornings, as we come together and encourage each other, encourage each other through the word of God, in saying things that would be uplifting to each other.
Speaker B:We need to show appreciation through our words.
Speaker B:But let me say also, you can show appreciation through your gifts too.
Speaker B:Again I said I'm going to be very practical.
Speaker B:I think when I say gifts, I think of scripture and I think of song of Solomon.
Speaker B:I think in chapter 1, in verse 10 and 11, where Solomon would give his wife gifts of gold that he would put around her neck and chains about her arms.
Speaker B:Some of you wives are saying, I like this preaching.
Speaker B:But you might say, well, Solomon was a rich man, he could afford to do that.
Speaker B:And I don't have that much money.
Speaker B:Well, I'm not talking about expensive gifts.
Speaker B:I'm talking about it could be a card, it could be a flower that you bring home to your wife.
Speaker B:Now she expects gifts on Valentine's Day.
Speaker B:She expects a gift on her birthday, on her anniversary, at Christmas time.
Speaker B:But when she doesn't expect a gift is when it makes it so special.
Speaker B:On a Tuesday or Thursday, when you walk in with a card or flower or some little gift for your wife and it says to her, when I wasn't with you, I was thinking about you.
Speaker B:Certainly we can show appreciation through gifts, but let me say thirdly, through our actions.
Speaker B:Through our actions.
Speaker B:That is what we do with her or for her.
Speaker B:Even around the house, I think of husbands and wives, young couples that have lots of children sometimes.
Speaker B:And a wife can be very busy all week long taking care of the children.
Speaker B:And Saturday comes and maybe the husband would come up to his wife and say, honey, listen, why don't you take the day off?
Speaker B:Here's a credit card and you go have some fun with the girls and I'll take care of the kids Today.
Speaker B:Some of you guys say, are you kidding?
Speaker B:I'm not going to give her my credit card.
Speaker B:You know, listen, let her have some.
Speaker B:What you're doing is you're saying, I appreciate you, I love you.
Speaker B:You need a break today.
Speaker B:You've been with the kids all week long.
Speaker B:Let me take them today.
Speaker B:I'll sacrificially also show my sacrificial love through doing something for you.
Speaker B:It could be at night.
Speaker B:I know now as empty nesters, Debbie many times at night she'll cook a wonderful meal.
Speaker B:I can be sitting over there reading a book or doing something and she doesn't care.
Speaker B:She cooks a meal and does the dishes and does everything, but often think to myself, I can show appreciation.
Speaker B:I can show love to my wife if I say, debbie, why don't you go over here and take a seat for a minute?
Speaker B:Why don't you read a book?
Speaker B:Why don't you do something you want to do?
Speaker B:I'll go clean up the kitchen.
Speaker B:I'll take care of the dishes tonight.
Speaker B:We can do that through our actions.
Speaker B:I believe that Peter is painting a beautiful picture of a portrait of a man who is to live with his wife according to knowledge or in an understanding way, through spending time with her affectionately, through spending time giving her his attention.
Speaker B:Time for appreciation.
Speaker B:Then let me say briefly, time for affirmation, to continually affirm his love.
Speaker B:You know, when Paul In Romans 8:35, he asked a question, who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Speaker B:Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Speaker B:And at the end of the chapter, this is some of my favorite verses, he emphasizes the security that we have as a bride of Christ.
Speaker B:With these words he says, for I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, no height, nor depth, nor any other creature should be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Jesus Christ our Lord.
Speaker B:And through these words, God affirms his love to us as the bride of Christ.
Speaker B:And he gives us this security as he does many other places in the word of God.
Speaker B:A husband who models and emulates Jesus Christ headship over his bride in the relationship with his wife will continually affirm his love to his wife.
Speaker B:Men, you need to continually let your wife know how much you love them.
Speaker B:I know some men, I've heard a man say before.
Speaker B:I told my wife when we first got married I loved her.
Speaker B:And if it changes, I'll tell her again.
Speaker B:That's not what God is saying.
Speaker B:God is saying continually, aren't you glad God affirms his love to you daily?
Speaker B:God is continually affirming he loves us daily.
Speaker B:And one of the great needs your wife has, the way God has made her, is security.
Speaker B:She needs to feel secure in your love continually.
Speaker B:Guys, affirm your love to your wife by letting her that you know that you'll always love her and that you'll never, ever leave her.
Speaker B:And let me say, if you've got children in your home, let the kids hear that too, because there are real friends in public school and the schools around whose moms and daddies are getting divorces, and they need to hear that.
Speaker B:My mom and daddy committed to each other and love each other.
Speaker B:But let me add one last thing before I leave this first picture.
Speaker B:There's something else that we need to have in our relationship if it's going to be an understanding relationship where we're living with our wife.
Speaker B:And that is something called trust.
Speaker B:Trust is a bridge in every relationship, whether it's a husband, a wife, whether it's parents to children.
Speaker B:If you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't have a relationship.
Speaker B:Trust involves getting rid of all the private, secret areas in our life that we can share with each other.
Speaker B:I can remember when I years ago was an engineer at Eastman Kodak in Kingsport, Tennessee, and I'd have a bad day.
Speaker B:Some things would happen at the job, and it would really upset me.
Speaker B:And I'd come home and I wouldn't share with Debbie.
Speaker B:She could see something was wrong with me.
Speaker B:She could see it through visual communication on my face.
Speaker B:But I wouldn't tell her what it was because I thought I needed to protect her.
Speaker B:She would come up to me and she would say, sam, what's wrong?
Speaker B:I say, well, nothing's wrong.
Speaker B:She'd say, sam, I can tell something's wrong.
Speaker B:What's wrong?
Speaker B:I said, well, nothing's wrong.
Speaker B:Everything's fine.
Speaker B:She'd ask me the next day, sam, I know something's bothering you.
Speaker B:I can tell what's wrong.
Speaker B:And I say, well, Debbie, nothing's wrong.
Speaker B:Everything's fine.
Speaker B:Then she finally came up to me.
Speaker B:She said, sam, when you don't tell me what's bothering you, it makes me think it's me.
Speaker B:I thought to myself how true that would be.
Speaker B:If I saw something was wrong with her and she wouldn't tell me what it was, I would think it was me too.
Speaker B:What I was doing is breaking trust in that relationship.
Speaker B:And I began to share my heart with Debbie.
Speaker B:I began to say, this is what happened.
Speaker B:And it really bothered me.
Speaker B:And then she could be the wife that God had, had called her to be.
Speaker B:To come beside me and encourage me and help me and enable me and empower me through speaking words that would be encouraging and through praying with me.
Speaker B:We need trust in our marriage relationships.
Speaker B:And let me just pause and say this too.
Speaker B:That the greatest way.
Speaker B:Listen, guys, you guys hear me this morning.
Speaker B:The greatest way to develop trust in your relationship with your wife is by praying with her.
Speaker B:Is by praying with her.
Speaker B:I remember years ago when God began to convict me about praying with Debbie.
Speaker B:And I thought to myself, why is it so hard?
Speaker B:Because it seemed Very difficult for me to pray with Debbie.
Speaker B:I could pray myself, get by myself, pray by myself.
Speaker B:But when it came to praying with Debbie, it seemed like it was very, very hard to do.
Speaker B:I began to realize it was because of my pride.
Speaker B:Because a man wants his wife to think he's the man.
Speaker B:He's got all the answers, he's got all the solutions.
Speaker B:And the wife is called to submit unto her husband.
Speaker B:But you know what, guys?
Speaker B:It's hard to submit it to somebody you don't know is submitted to God.
Speaker B:One of the greatest things you can do to build trust and relationship is when you get on your knees with your wife and you hold hands with her and you go to the Lord and you say, God, I don't.
Speaker B:I don't know how we're going to pay this bill this month.
Speaker B:God, I don't know how we're going to deal with this situation with our teenagers.
Speaker B:God, I don't know what to do about this problem here.
Speaker B:And you begin to pour your heart out to God together.
Speaker B:And your wife sees your submission to God.
Speaker B:And when she sees your submission to God, it makes it much easier for her to submit to you, as God has called her to do.
Speaker B:And it builds and puts something in that relationship called trust that we need desperately in every marriage relationship.
Speaker B:So the first portrait that Peter paints us in this passage in verse 7 is a man who still lives with his wife.
Speaker B:A man who lives with his wife spends time with her in an understanding way.
Speaker B:But look at the second portrait that Peter paints.
Speaker B:We see it here in the next part of this verse, and we see that it's a man who gives honor to his wife.
Speaker B:Look at it.
Speaker B:It says, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life.
Speaker B:The word honor means to esteem someone in a high position in your life, to count them as a priceless treasure unto yourself.
Speaker B:And God is saying to husbands, look at your wife and look at the gift that I have given to you, and esteem her in a high place in your life.
Speaker B:Count your wife.
Speaker B:And as a priceless treasure unto yourself.
Speaker B:I'm reminded of the verses in Proverbs 31 and verse 10 where it asks this question, who can find a virtuous or a godly woman?
Speaker B:What a great question that is in our day, in our culture today, who can find this godly woman?
Speaker B:But he goes on to say, for her, price is far above rubies.
Speaker B:This is when he speaks of price.
Speaker B:It's speaking of a bride price that was being Paid back in that day and time in typical bride price that someone would pay a young man would pay to the future father in law that he would have would be seven years labor.
Speaker B:He would literally have to give seven years labor as a bride price to marry that young lady.
Speaker B:I think of Jacob and Rachel, where Jacob worked seven years for Rachel actually ended up more than that and said it seemed to him, but as a few days because of the love he had for her.
Speaker B:I think to myself sometimes how few marriages there would be today if a young man had to pay seven years labor to his future father in law.
Speaker B:But that's the picture that God wants us to see as husbands.
Speaker B:He says, look at your wife and see what a beautiful, beautiful, priceless jewel that I've given to you.
Speaker B:If she's a godly woman, you ought to be thrilled that God has given you this wife.
Speaker B:But he says you're to give honor to her in a specific way.
Speaker B:He says, as unto the weaker vessel.
Speaker B:And when God says weaker vessel, I think he means weaker in several ways.
Speaker B:In the way God has physiologically made her.
Speaker B:Certainly it implies weaker physically.
Speaker B:I believe generally speaking, and I say generally speaking, God has made a woman weaker physically.
Speaker B:The reason I say that is because several years ago I was in a doing a marriage conference in Denver, Colorado and there was a women's bodybuilding contest in the hotel and there was some freakish looking women in that hotel.
Speaker B:I'm going to tell you what, I wouldn't want it to tangle with any of them, but generally speaking, the woman is weaker.
Speaker B:You know what this is saying to us, guys, do not abuse your wife physically.
Speaker B:One in three wives, One in three wives have been abused either physically or sexually by a boyfriend or husband in their life.
Speaker B:One in three.
Speaker B:That's a crying shame in the church today.
Speaker B:Seven percent of husbands, statistically, 7% of husbands in our Protestant churches physically abuse their wives.
Speaker B:And guys, I just say here this morning, God is saying to you, you, you better not touch your wife physically.
Speaker B:You better not abuse her physically.
Speaker B:And I'm so thankful when I was a young boy and I grew up in a home of eight, that my dad, when he drank and he drank a lot, that I never saw him abuse my mother physically.
Speaker B:But I believe this verse also implies as a weaker vessel.
Speaker B:It implies that she is weaker emotionally.
Speaker B:And where I didn't see my dad abuse my mom physically, I did see him abuse her emotionally through cruel and harsh words and things he would say to her.
Speaker B:And I could see her face like shrivel up on the outside.
Speaker B:Guys, you're not honoring your wife as a weaker vessel when you abuse them emotionally through cruel and harsh and degrading words that you say to them.
Speaker B:Guys, you're not honoring your wife as a weaker vessel when you make degrading jokes about your wife and even make degrading jokes about marriage.
Speaker B:Marriage is not a joke.
Speaker B:It's sacred to God.
Speaker B:And, guys, let me remind you that just because your wife is a weaker vessel, it does not mean that she is inferior to you in any way.
Speaker B:Look at that verse again.
Speaker B:Notice it says, as being heirs together of the grace of life, what this is saying is that your wife may be the weaker vessel, but she is still your equal partner in God's gift of new life.
Speaker B:She's an heir of salvation.
Speaker B:Equal in essence, different in function.
Speaker B:And, guys, let me just add this too.
Speaker B:She might be the weaker vessel, but she's not the weaker sex either.
Speaker B:Listen, they're the ones who have the babies.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Praise God.
Speaker B:I don't have to have it.
Speaker B:They're the ones who have the babies.
Speaker B:They're the ones who work 40 hours a week, just like many men work 40 hours a week.
Speaker B:They get up in the morning, fix the meals, they do the laundry.
Speaker B:Listen, they stay up late, get up early, and they die.
Speaker B:The average man dies before his wife dies and she gets all the money.
Speaker B:They're not the weaker sex, but they are the weaker vessel.
Speaker B:There's no hint in what Paul and what Peter is saying here.
Speaker B:There's no hint of inferiority or superiority in this verse.
Speaker B:Again, women are equal in essence, but different in function the way God has made them.
Speaker B:So a husband is commanded to lovingly and sacrificially treat his wife and give her honor as the weaker vessel.
Speaker B:The first two portraits that Peter is painting us here in this verse, he says, you're to be a man if you're going to be a godly husband.
Speaker B:You're to be a man who lives with his wife in an understanding way.
Speaker B:You to be a husband who gives honor to his wife as unto the weaker vessel.
Speaker B:But in closing, look at the third portrait that Peter paints here.
Speaker B:And the third picture he gives us at the end of the verse is a man who can still touch heaven with his wife.
Speaker B:Look at what it says.
Speaker B:That your prayers be not hindered.
Speaker B:Peter closes by exhorting husbands that if they're not living with their wife according to knowledge, in an understanding way, in giving honor to them as unto the weaker vessel, that the spiritual operator will come on the line and say, disconnect it.
Speaker B:I cannot hear your prayers because you are not right with your wife.
Speaker B:It's a similar exhortation that God gives to the men of Judah in Malachi, chapter two, who are treating their wives treacherously.
Speaker B:They're being unfaithful to their wives.
Speaker B:And God says to these men, he says, listen, I'm not going to accept your offerings anymore and I'm not going to accept your worship anymore.
Speaker B:What God is saying is, confess your sin, repent, and get right with your wife.
Speaker B:Listen, folks, I travel all over the United States.
Speaker B:I just got back from the Northwest for about four weeks.
Speaker B:I believe one of the greatest hindrances we're going to have revival.
Speaker B:We're going to have a time of spiritual awakening.
Speaker B:We pray next month.
Speaker B:We need to prepare our hearts for that.
Speaker B:And one of the preparations we need to make is what I'm saying, saying this morning.
Speaker B:We need to make sure we're right as a husband and wife.
Speaker B:As a husband, I'm right with my wife.
Speaker B:God says if I'm not, it's going to hinder my prayers.
Speaker B:Peter paints us three portraits this morning of a godly husband.
Speaker B:He's a man who still spends time with his wife.
Speaker B:He lives with her and spends time with her.
Speaker B:And he's a man who gives honor to his wife as a weaker vessel.
Speaker B:And he's a man who can still touch heaven with his wife.
Speaker A:Thank you for joining the Fortifying youg Family podcast.
Speaker A:And if you feel encouraged by today's teaching, give us a follow so we can invite you back and share us on your socials so more marriages and families can be strengthened and fortified through the truths of God's word.
Speaker A:Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's Word.
