Episode 48

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Published on:

19th Mar 2025

Portrait of a Godly Wife | Part 2

In this episode we continue to explore how a wife’s biblical submission and respect can bring strength and harmony to a marriage. We touch on the importance of being a “beautifully adorned” wife—not just in the physical sense, but in cultivating inner beauty that shines through in your actions and attitude. With real-life stories, eye-opening insights, and practical advice, this episode offers wisdom and encouragement to help strengthen your marriage.

Checkout these other Family Fortress Ministries Podcasts:

TIME FOR THREE daily couples devotional: https://time-for-three.captivate.fm/listen

FORTIFYING YOUR FAMILY: https://fortifying-your-family.captivate.fm/listen

MINISTRY WEBSITE: https://familyfortress.org/

DONATE to Family Fortress Ministries: https://familyfortress.org/donate

Transcript
Speaker A:

Welcome to the Fortifying youg Family podcast.

Speaker A:

It can be daunting to navigate through an anti marriage and family culture.

Speaker A:

Our teacher will expound biblical principles to help fortify our families and keep these sacred institutions strong.

Speaker A:

And now, here's this week's teaching from Sam Wood.

Speaker B:

So I say, guys, you're really missing out and you're not a very wise husband if you don't listen to the.

Speaker B:

The insight and wisdom of your wife.

Speaker B:

Now this brings up another question, and I want you wives to answer this question for me here tonight.

Speaker B:

Is it easy for a wife to submit?

Speaker B:

What's the answer to that?

Speaker B:

Some of y'all, Y'all are chicken.

Speaker B:

Is it easy to submit?

Speaker B:

No, it's not easy to submit to anybody.

Speaker B:

And the thing we have in the world today is the world doesn't want to come to Christ because they don't want to submit to the authority of God.

Speaker B:

They want to be their own God.

Speaker B:

They want to be and do what they want to do.

Speaker B:

Submission is not an easy thing.

Speaker B:

In fact, I've heard Debbie say before to other women that it's the hardest thing that she's ever had to do.

Speaker B:

And when she says that, it makes me think, but it makes me think that submission says that you're voluntarily placing yourself under the authority of someone.

Speaker B:

And it makes you vulnerable to your husband as a wife, to your husband's inadequacies and your husband's deficiencies.

Speaker B:

And all of us husbands have inadequacies, and all of us husbands have deficiencies because all of our husbands aren't perfect.

Speaker B:

We are sinners saved by grace.

Speaker B:

If we consider the ultimate example of submission from chapter two, look back at chapter two and verse 21, it says, Christ is their example of submission.

Speaker B:

But in verse 23, it describes how he made himself vulnerable in his act of submission at the cross.

Speaker B:

Look at it.

Speaker B:

In verse 23, it says, who?

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When he was reviled, he reviled not again.

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When he suffered, he threatened not.

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You say, well, how did he do that?

Speaker B:

How was he able?

Speaker B:

When he was cursed, when he was threatened, how was he able to not curse and threaten back?

Speaker B:

Well, it tells us, it says, but committed himself to him, judges righteously.

Speaker B:

He trusted the Father, because God.

Speaker B:

The Father is a just and righteous God.

Speaker B:

And he submitted out of honor and respect for the position of the Father.

Speaker B:

Now, ladies, wives, here tonight, the real challenge to submit is within your own heart.

Speaker B:

A lot of wives have a very challenge when it comes to saying submission.

Speaker B:

They are very.

Speaker B:

A very hard thing to do.

Speaker B:

But you have to look at this and understand it's an issue within your heart.

Speaker B:

And I say that because if you look back To Genesis chapter 3 and verse 16, it says this concerning the curse that God gave.

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He said unto the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception.

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In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

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Notice that word desire there.

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It's a very interesting word.

Speaker B:

It means to control or to manipulate because of sin, the helper or the help meet that God gave to man.

Speaker B:

Instead of coming beside him and enabling him and empowering him to complete and perform the calling of God in his life.

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Now, because of sin, because of the curse, instead of being a helper, instead of being a completer, she.

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If she's not careful, she'll be a competer.

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That is, she'll compete with her husband for the role that God has given to him.

Speaker B:

Carolyn Mahaney says this.

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It is actually weakness on display.

Speaker B:

When a wife is not submissive, she's only caving into her natural inclination to usurp authority and demand her own way.

Speaker B:

But you notice a while ago it said, at the end of the curse, her desire will be toward her husband and he shall rule over thee.

Speaker B:

That word rule is a part of the curse of the husband.

Speaker B:

That is, instead of the husband showing loving, sacrificial leadership with his wife, now he will begin to be dictatorial, have a tendency because of sin to be dictatorial and tyrannical in the relationship with his wife.

Speaker B:

And instead of loving her as Christ loves the church, he will tend to demean her and degrade her glory and not recognize her for the precious gift that God has given to him as a precious wife.

Speaker B:

You may be a wife here tonight.

Speaker B:

Who would say, but you don't understand the man that I married, all he cares about is watching television.

Speaker B:

He's totally irresponsible.

Speaker B:

He's not affectionate.

Speaker B:

He doesn't lead me spiritually, he doesn't discipline the children.

Speaker B:

Maybe you'd be here tonight.

Speaker B:

And you say, preacher, he's not anything like the picture or the portrait you painted of a godly husband this morning.

Speaker B:

Or maybe you'd be here tonight as a wife and you say, my husband is not really even a Christian.

Speaker B:

The then look back with me at verse one one more time says, likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.

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That if any, obey not the word.

Speaker B:

Here's a wife who is married to a man who's not obeying the word of God.

Speaker B:

He's not walking with God.

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And it even could imply that this man is not even a child of God.

Speaker B:

He's not even a Christian.

Speaker B:

But notice what he goes on to say.

Speaker B:

It says, they also may, without the word be won.

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How?

Speaker B:

By the conversation or the conduct of the wise.

Speaker B:

God says to submit to your husbands, but look at the reason why.

Speaker B:

He says, listen, so that they may be won by observing your godly life.

Speaker B:

This is what wins him.

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By him seeing your godly conduct, by him seeing the Jesus in you.

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You trust God.

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I said a while ago, submission is an act of faith.

Speaker B:

And it certainly is because you are making yourself vulnerable to the mistakes of another person.

Speaker B:

But especially a wife in a relationship with a husband who's not walking with God or a husband who's not even a Christian, it makes it very difficult.

Speaker B:

And God says, here's the way to win him.

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Let him observe.

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Let him see before him your godly conduct.

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And notice it says that they also may, without the word be won.

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You say, preacher, what does that mean?

Speaker B:

That means that you don't nag him.

Speaker B:

You're not going to win him by trying to make him, by talking him into what you want him to be.

Speaker B:

In fact, in Proverbs it talks about nagging a wife, nagging her husband.

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And it's a sin for a wife to nag her husband.

Speaker B:

And it's very, very important to understand as a wife that the Bible says that you will win your husband not by your words that you say to him, but by him seeing your godly conduct before him.

Speaker B:

That's what will win him.

Speaker B:

I remember years ago when we met a couple at the inner city ministry we had in Kingsport, Tennessee, by the name of David and Vicki.

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And David and Vicki had a very interesting story.

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They came several times to the inner city ministry.

Speaker B:

We went out to eat one night and they shared their story with us.

Speaker B:

And they told us when they first got married.

Speaker B:

Vicki said I was a Christian and David was not.

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I knew.

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In fact, my parents told me not to marry him because he was not a Christian.

Speaker B:

I disobeyed my parents.

Speaker B:

I knew I disobeyed God and I married him anyway.

Speaker B:

She said, for years my life was a living hell.

Speaker B:

She said, my husband David treated me harshly.

Speaker B:

He was not a loving husband.

Speaker B:

He would go out and have affairs with other women.

Speaker B:

In fact, he would bring women into her own home and have affairs with them.

Speaker B:

Now I'm sitting there listening to this story.

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Then David said, you know, but I would.

Speaker B:

I remember even while I was Doing all that, that Vicki I could remember, she'd go in the bathroom and shut the door and she would get on her knees and get at down and she would begin to pray.

Speaker B:

And she would pray that I would come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior.

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Every morning, every night she would pray.

Speaker B:

He gave me the testimony and said I was in a motel room and I had another woman in the motel room with me.

Speaker B:

And all of a sudden all I could see in my mind's eye, all I could see was my wife on her knees praying for me.

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He said I immediately left that room.

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I went back into my own room and I fell down on my face and asked God to forgive me for my sin.

Speaker B:

And I gave my life to Jesus Christ.

Speaker B:

And they gave me, gave us that testimony that night.

Speaker B:

I couldn't help but think of this verse in 1st Peter, chapter 3, and verse 1 where it talks about a wife winning her husband by her godly conduct.

Speaker B:

Elizabeth George, I believe sums it up well, she says our submission to her husband, whether or not he is a Christian, whether or not he is obeying God, preaches a lovelier and more powerful sermon than our mouth ever could.

Speaker B:

Wow.

Speaker B:

Now this brings up the last question about submission that I want to share with you here tonight.

Speaker B:

And that question is this.

Speaker B:

Are there limits to submission then there limits to when a wife should submit to her husband?

Speaker B:

I want to mention two here tonight.

Speaker B:

And the first one is this.

Speaker B:

God never requires a wife to submit her to her husband when he's asking her to participate in sin.

Speaker B:

She is to obey God rather than man.

Speaker B:

Amen.

Speaker B:

And so when a husband is asking his wife to participate in sin or sinful things, then she is to obey God rather than man.

Speaker B:

Let me mention one other limit here tonight.

Speaker B:

I think it's important to mention that is a wife should not submit to an abusive husband, to a husband who is physically and emotionally abusing her.

Speaker B:

As I stated this morning, the Bible says a husband is to give honor to his wife as unto the weaker vessel.

Speaker B:

God knowing the way physiologically he had made a woman that she is weaker physically and she is weaker emotionally.

Speaker B:

So a husband is to honor her, she is a weaker vessel.

Speaker B:

She is a gift to him from God.

Speaker B:

But if a husband is abusing his wife, God has ordained civil government for her protection.

Speaker B:

And a wife has every right to call the law and get a restraining order to try to get things right in her home to limit that abuse.

Speaker B:

So the first portrait and I told you I was going to spend a lot more time on the first picture than I was on the rest.

Speaker B:

But the first picture here that we see that Peter paints as a wife who is submissive to her husband.

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Let's look at the second picture.

Speaker B:

We see it in the second verse, and that is a wife who shows respect for her husband.

Speaker B:

It says in verse two, while they behold your chaste conversation.

Speaker B:

Again, that word conversation means your godly behavior coupled with fear.

Speaker B:

Or if you look up that word, it means reverence or respect.

Speaker B:

So here's a wife who before a husband is a godly wife showing godly behavior.

Speaker B:

He can see the Jesus in her, and she is also showing reverence.

Speaker B:

So she's showing respect to her husband.

Speaker B:

In Ephesians, chapter 5 and verse 33, the concluding verse in the chapter on marriage, the end of verse 33, it says, Let the wife see that she reverences or respects her husband.

Speaker B:

Wives were God created you for a great need for security, and I talked about that to the husbands this morning.

Speaker B:

Your wife has a great need for security.

Speaker B:

She needs to be told that she's loved.

Speaker B:

She needs to be told and affirmed that you're not going to leave her.

Speaker B:

You always love her.

Speaker B:

But where a wife has a great need for security, the way God has created a man, he has a great need for respect.

Speaker B:

That's why the Bible commands a wife to show respect to her husband.

Speaker B:

From statistics taken in a little book I have down here for women only.

Speaker B:

It says this for.

Speaker B:

It says men had rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected.

Speaker B:

Men had rather feel alone and unloved than inadequate and disrespected.

Speaker B:

A man has a great need for respect in the way that God has made him.

Speaker B:

And that's why it says a wife is to show reverence or respect to her husbands.

Speaker B:

Ladies, you need to understand, your husband has a very frail ego.

Speaker B:

They can take.

Speaker B:

A man can take rejection out on the workplace from other men.

Speaker B:

He can take rejection at his job, okay?

Speaker B:

He can take and face business reversals, face other problems.

Speaker B:

But when he comes home, he wants it to be a safe haven where his wife shows respect to him and basically says to him, you.

Speaker B:

The man holds him in awe, holds him in respect.

Speaker B:

And let me just say, I can think of examples in counseling of husbands who have sacrificially loved their wife, showered them with gifts, showered them with love, spent time, did everything they could do to go out of their way and show sacrificial love to their wife.

Speaker B:

I can think of a husband who shared that testimony with Me.

Speaker B:

And he said, but, Sam, he said, I'd give anything if my wife just one time would say a word of encouragement to me.

Speaker B:

She would tell me, just one time, how much she appreciates what I do.

Speaker B:

She'd tell me one time, just thank you for what you've done.

Speaker B:

If she would just.

Speaker B:

What he's really saying.

Speaker B:

If she would just show me some respect just once in a while.

Speaker B:

And I thought to myself, as much as a wife needs security, as much as a wife needs to be told that she's loved by her husband, a husband needs to be told often by his wife how much she respects him.

Speaker B:

A wife who respects her husband, she respects him through her submissive attitude that we've talked about here to begin with tonight.

Speaker B:

Her willingness to cooperate and help him by speaking well of him, by showing admiration for his good character traits that he might have that he exhibits before her, by not allowing herself to publicly criticize her husband as something that certainly would tear down your husband as much or quicker than anything else.

Speaker B:

To publicly criticize your husband by refusing to degrade him, to nag him, by teaching her children to give honor to their father, by enjoying him, by showing affection to her husband.

Speaker B:

Now, before I leave this point, let me just say this also.

Speaker B:

Respect.

Speaker B:

When a wife gives respect to her husband, it means that you defer to him.

Speaker B:

That you defer to him.

Speaker B:

You say, preacher, what do you mean?

Speaker B:

To defer is to give your opinion on a matter.

Speaker B:

Say you're discussing something that you need to make a decision about.

Speaker B:

You give your opinion on the matter one time without threatening any kind of tone of threatening to your husband.

Speaker B:

And then if you're not in agreement, you defer to your husband and let him make the final decision.

Speaker B:

Now, let me just say here tonight, in 40 years, I can remember very, very few times where Debbie and I have discussed something together that I didn't value her opinion.

Speaker B:

She values my opinion.

Speaker B:

Where we couldn't talk it out and come to a mutual agreement together.

Speaker B:

That's what we try to do.

Speaker B:

But if we talk things out and she comes to one point, I come to another, and I think, well, I'm going to.

Speaker B:

I could say, well, Debbie, let's do it your way.

Speaker B:

I have before.

Speaker B:

Or Debbie say, well, if you want to, then do it your way.

Speaker B:

We're not really sure.

Speaker B:

And she'll defer to me and I'll make the final decision.

Speaker B:

But it really sets her free, too.

Speaker B:

She's often told me.

Speaker B:

She said, sam, when I defer to you and you make the decision, then you're the one who's held accountable to God, not me.

Speaker B:

And that's true.

Speaker B:

I'm the husband and so I think about that.

Speaker B:

But she submits and she respects the authority that God has given to me.

Speaker B:

And because of that she will defer to me.

Speaker B:

So the first picture is of a wife who submits to her husband.

Speaker B:

The second picture is of a wife who respects her husband.

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But then thirdly, she's a wife who is beautifully adorned.

Speaker B:

I love these verses.

Speaker B:

Peter shows us really three pictures of a beautifully adorned woman in verses three and four.

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Now we need to be reminded of something.

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I want to remind you guys of something here tonight.

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That beauty to the world and beauty to God are two different things.

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And that's so important to see and understand as we look at these verses.

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Look at them with me.

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The first thing that Peter says here concerning a beautiful wife, he says real beauty is invisible beauty.

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Look at it in verse three.

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Whose adorning?

Speaker B:

Let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting of hair, of the hair wearing of gold or putting on of apparel.

Speaker B:

Now let me just stop there for a second because I've heard some preachers preach on this.

Speaker B:

They say, see there in the Bible it says that a woman shouldn't plait her hair, a woman shouldn't wear gold.

Speaker B:

Well, if you're going to say that, you need to go on and say the rest of the scripture and say a woman shouldn't put on any clothes.

Speaker B:

Amen.

Speaker B:

That's what it says.

Speaker B:

Putting on of apparel, you say.

Speaker B:

Preacher, what is this talking about?

Speaker B:

This is talking about somebody who would come like to church.

Speaker B:

A woman who would come to church and she comes to make a show by plaiting her hair way up by wearing a bunch of jewelry.

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She's trying to stand out.

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She wants to be the center of attention.

Speaker B:

That's really what it's talking about here.

Speaker B:

But notice how it contrasts that in verse four.

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But let it be the hidden man of the heart.

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What God is saying here is real beauty is not the visible beauty, but real beauty is the invisible beauty.

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And ladies, listen, it's not the, it's not the max factor.

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It's not the Mary Kay.

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It's a master's touch upon your heart that really makes you beautiful in God's eyes.

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And let me just say to you husbands here tonight too that I want to remind you that your wife, you might say, well preacher, she's not as beautiful as she used to be on the outside.

Speaker B:

But I want to Remind you here tonight again that your wife may not be as beautiful on the outside, but she may be a beauty queen on the inside.

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And it's a whole lot better to have a beauty queen on the inside than it has is to have just a beauty queen on the outside without God's touch upon that woman's heart on the inside.

Speaker B:

Real beauty starts with a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Speaker B:

It starts with the Master's touch upon that woman's heart.

Speaker B:

This wife has the beauty of Christ in her heart.

Speaker B:

And this is a beautiful, invisible beauty as God describes it.

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Here then we see secondly, real beauty is not only invisible beauty, but its imperishable beauty.

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Look in verse four again.

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And that which is not corruptible or it's imperishable, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.

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This woman has the imperishable beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit.

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She possesses an inner tranquility, we might say.

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This beauty comes from her delight and confidence in the Lord that she has.

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She's not an overbearing woman.

Speaker B:

She's not a demanding woman.

Speaker B:

What flows out of this woman's heart onto her countenance is joy and peace and gentleness and kindness.

Speaker B:

This type of beauty comes from time that she spends alone in communion with God.

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Time that she spends soaking up the word of God into her heart.

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Time she spends praising the character of God and who God is and the attributes of God, and then taking time in prayer to listen to God.

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The result of this communion is the fruit of the Spirit in her life.

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That's what will influence her husband in verse one to come to the Lord a third way.

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We see that Peter describes this beautifully.

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Adorned woman is real beauty is invaluable beauty.

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He says at the end of verse four, which is in the sight of God of great price.

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Interesting that word price.

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There is the same word that's used to describe the blood of Jesus in First Peter, chapter one and verse 19.

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What Peter is saying is this beauty is an invaluable beauty.

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This kind of beauty in a woman is a priceless beauty that this woman has.

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And as a husband we ought to be thrilled that God has given us this kind of beauty queen.

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You probably heard the old saying that beauty is only skin deep and ugly is to the bone.

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Beauty simply fades away, but ugly holds its own.

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Amen.

Speaker B:

And again, you can take a woman who's beautiful on the outside and she's ugly on the inside, and her ugly on the inside is going to catch up on the outside with time.

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But you can take a woman who maybe isn't as beautiful on the outside and she's got the beauty of Christ on the inside.

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And this woman gets more beautiful with time than less beautiful with time.

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Her beauty isn't hindered with gray hair.

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Her beauty isn't hindered with a wrinkled face.

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Her beauty isn't hindered with false teeth.

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She gets more beautiful with time instead of less beautiful with time.

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It's an invaluable beauty.

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So Peter says, I want you to see these pictures here.

Speaker B:

This portrait of a godly wife is of a wife who submits to her husband, a wife who respects her husband, a wife who is beautifully adorned.

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The inner beauty of the master's touch upon her heart.

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Then he says, next, she's a wife who hopes in God.

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She's a wife who hopes in God.

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Look at verse 5.

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For after this matter in the old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorn themselves.

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That word trusted means to hope, to hope, to put their hope, to put their trust in.

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The picture is of a holy woman who trusts or puts her hope in the promises of the Word of God.

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This woman is described in Proverbs 31 and verse 25.

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This way, strength and honor are her clothing.

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And she shall rejoice in time to come.

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In time to come?

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What does that mean?

Speaker B:

She shall rejoice in time to come.

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If you study that verse, what it means is she shall laugh at the time to come.

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She's.

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Listen, she isn't worried about nothing in the future.

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She just laughs at it.

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Wow.

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She can laugh at everything in the future.

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Can bring along her path, bring along her way.

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Because this woman hopes in God.

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A godly woman does not put her hope in her husband or if you're single, in the hope of getting a husband.

Speaker B:

She didn't put her hope in her looks.

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She didn't put her hope in her education or intellect.

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This holy woman's hope is not in man, but her hope is in God and God alone.

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She knows that God is sovereign.

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She understands the sovereignty of God and that God is in control of of all things.

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She believes that all things will work together for good, of those who love God and are called according to his purposes.

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Her hoping God is her rock.

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Her hoping God is her fortress.

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This wife is not just any wife, but a holy wife who puts her hope and trust in God.

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The last picture that Peter paints for us here in this passage is in verse six.

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This is a picture, a portrait of a woman who is not fearful.

Speaker B:

She's a Wife who's not fearful.

Speaker B:

Look at verse six.

Speaker B:

Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, lord, whose daughters ye are, as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement.

Speaker B:

Not afraid, not fearful with any amazement.

Speaker B:

That word amazement refers to becoming hysterical.

Speaker B:

A woman becoming somewhat hysterical because this woman has her hope in God.

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As we saw in the previous verse.

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She's not frightened by the circumstances.

Speaker B:

She's not fearful of the circumstances that surrounds her.

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Because her hopes in God.

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She does not fear the future, but she laughs at it.

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The example Peter gives us is interesting because it's the example of Sarah and Abraham.

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And it comes from Genesis chapter 18 and verse 12 when Sarah had to face having a son in her old age.

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Now, I'm sure every woman here would agree tonight the thought of carrying a baby at age 89 is enough to merit a meltdown.

Speaker B:

It's enough to merit probably having some type of meltdown or hysteria, we might say.

Speaker B:

But the example he gives us is that she found her strength in the Lord to conceive and deliver a baby.

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In the Scripture here she calls Abraham Lord, which is a title of respect.

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And this gives us a glimpse into her heart.

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She shows honor to her husband even when nobody else is listening.

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God, listen looks down in her heart and gives us what she's thinking even when no one's listening.

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Sarah didn't become hysterical.

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Sarah didn't become fearful, but she placed her trust in God and was fearless.

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imony given of her in Hebrews:

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Through faith also, Sarah herself received strength to conceive seed and was delivered of a child when she was past age because she judged him faithful, who had promised.

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She's one of two women mentioned as a hero of the faith in Hebrews chapter 11.

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She's a wife who's full of faith, not a wife who's full of fear.

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And the daughters of Sarah do not get anxious and fearful because their hope and confidence is in God.

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They don't get frightened.

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They don't get hysterical.

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They don't have meltdowns.

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The daughters of Sarah wage war against fear because their hope is in the promises and the sovereignty of God himself.

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So Peter paints us tonight a picture of a godly wife.

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A wife who submits unto her husband as we see.

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A wife who shows respect to her husband, a wife who is beautifully adorned.

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The master's touch of God upon her heart.

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A wife whose hope is in God and a wife who is not fearful.

Speaker A:

Thank you for joining the fortifying youg family podcast.

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And if you feel encouraged by today's teaching, give us a follow so we can invite you back and share us on your socials so more marriages and families can be strengthened and fortified through the truths of God's Word.

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Remember, fortifying your family starts with a strong belief in God's Word.

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About the Podcast

Fortifying Your Family
Biblically based teaching and preaching on singleness, marriage and the family by President and Founder of Family Fortress Ministries, Sam Wood. Learn how to have a Christ centered family and protect your family from the schemes of the devil.
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Sam & Debbie Wood

Family Fortress Ministries challenges people to honestly examine their current relationships with God and family members by explaining God’s Word through family conferences, preaching, teaching materials and a website. The ministry consistently applies the fact that Jesus Christ is the foundation of the home and that families should take heed how they build upon that foundation. The messages reach for the heart to create a thirst for God’s presence in the home and a willingness to surrender to His control. The results are practical steps to bond families together in God’s love and stability. The ministry was founded by evangelist Sam Wood and his wife Debbie in 1993. Sam and Debbie have conducted hundreds of marriage and parenting conferences in churches all across the United States and in six foreign nations. Their book “What is Marriage” was published in 2004 and has been used as a Biblical guide by both churches and couples to help strengthen marriages. Preparing for Partnership is the result of a strong burden to prepare engaged couples by establishing a solid Biblical foundation before they say “I do.”